Will A. Bradford Jr.
All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible. This I did.
T. E. Lawrence
Tell us about yourself, an about me page, or maybe even a biography; all of this to say who are you and the truth is -- I don't know. Okay if I am to waste more time, more words, and my allotted characters in wherever you are seeing this I much rather tell you a story.
I have never been one to lie; lies are for The Abomination so I will begin with the truth and the truth is... I'm a loser. You may think I am looking down on myself, something else The Abomination taught me but didn't I just call him a liar; interesting story so far isn't it. The truth is this is only the first page, the page of a book you will never read, from an author you will never know, and yet I truly believe that when I am dead these words will do someone some good, monetarily speaking of course because they have never helped me.
I want to tell you a story -- a story about love, you might find that here; I could tell you about a girl that for me like Juliet to Romeo showed me what true beauty is, I could tell you about a love greater than anything, and I could share with you my broken heart. I want to tell you a story about power, about the empire I wish to rule, the fame or infamy I wish to gain, and the vengeance that will be taken one day against The Abomination. The important thing is the fact that I want to tell you a story, I want you to know the truth, I want you to know me, and sad as it is to say or maybe not I want to be paid for it.
Tell you about me but the thing is you don't care, if you do care it will be what you will make of me, and I don't know but I'm trying real hard to know me; not the man in the mirror but the man behind the man. I will need more than two thousand characters...
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T. E. Lawrence
Tell us about yourself, an about me page, or maybe even a biography; all of this to say who are you and the truth is -- I don't know. Okay if I am to waste more time, more words, and my allotted characters in wherever you are seeing this I much rather tell you a story.
I have never been one to lie; lies are for The Abomination so I will begin with the truth and the truth is... I'm a loser. You may think I am looking down on myself, something else The Abomination taught me but didn't I just call him a liar; interesting story so far isn't it. The truth is this is only the first page, the page of a book you will never read, from an author you will never know, and yet I truly believe that when I am dead these words will do someone some good, monetarily speaking of course because they have never helped me.
I want to tell you a story -- a story about love, you might find that here; I could tell you about a girl that for me like Juliet to Romeo showed me what true beauty is, I could tell you about a love greater than anything, and I could share with you my broken heart. I want to tell you a story about power, about the empire I wish to rule, the fame or infamy I wish to gain, and the vengeance that will be taken one day against The Abomination. The important thing is the fact that I want to tell you a story, I want you to know the truth, I want you to know me, and sad as it is to say or maybe not I want to be paid for it.
Tell you about me but the thing is you don't care, if you do care it will be what you will make of me, and I don't know but I'm trying real hard to know me; not the man in the mirror but the man behind the man. I will need more than two thousand characters...
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Displaying Results 1 - 197 (of 197) for All Content
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Loving in the MomentThe only memories of us that exist lie in my own head, in my heart, and I suppose the words you see before you, if you’re even reading this at all. Loving In The Moment… I never really bother to, too much wishing, hoping, and praying for you.
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Leaving in StitchesI want to tear you apart or your clothing at the very least; is it such a crime to want to see you naked, her, or her really? Leaving In Stitches… I know you want to get away from me that quickly; a joke our night together I’m sure being a virgin and all.
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There Should Be LoveI’ve been fooling myself or maybe I just never truly believed in the meaning of love; to think that this life, my life would be enough. There Should Be Love… but I’ll never truly posses it thinking it can be bought; I wonder if Babydoll is single?
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Lying with LoveIs it love that is a lie or perhaps the lovers who lie, to this day I wouldn’t know but the idea of lying… next to some girl that is. Lying With Love, call it pretending but to lie with someone, a pretty girl; the lie that I love or I’m not alone. -
Distance from LoveIt’s not a race and from here love looks just fine but as the song goes “I can’t keep on loving you from a distance” Distance From Love… you see I want to be so much closer but who am I kidding; someone is going to get hurt. Better to be realistic. -
Behind the LoveI can’t even see the boy I once was anymore; she’s the girl all the bad guys want anyway but how bad is really too bad. Behind The Love… like her I can only see the face of the beast and no longer all the arrows in my back, digging to my heart.
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Lovely LimboLove and lust, like high and low; I’ve never been able to fall and with my sexual depravity I’m not sure how much farther I can go. Lovely Limbo… this want, the love, is like my purgatory and seeing as how I can’t go over the bar I just might fall.
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It's Not GrayIn truth I don’t what color it is or even what it is dare I call love or even lust, hell a feeling I’m not worth of. It’s Not Gray… I’m not a little girl or whatever else you want to call me and you say this isn’t love so why don’t you fill me in.
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The Indivisible InvisibleStrange to think how I feel no one can ever see me but it’s like I have a target painted on my back… just follow the knives. The Indivisible Invisible… the mess inside this shell that everyone tends to ignore; am I really keeping it together?
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Son of Father TimeTime is more than hands on the clock but breaths in the body so ask me where I have spent twenty-seven years of breaths. Son of Father Time… my father, I think of him as The Abomination; we tend to agree I should have never been born and yet someday. -
ACROSS from CalvaryI’m an atheist… as far as I’m concerned the so called greatest story ever told is just a crap movie like a really good story The Golden Compass. ACROSS From Calvary as if anyone cares about Jesus, he may not be the way but neither is the crap on TV.
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Snitching About LoveI would tell everybody but of course you would be first and you already know, I just wish you would care to. Snitching About Love… the truth is I love you for you are but if anything can I say I really know you at all; how well do you know me.
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Getting DownAm I blue, they are too, and how about you, just to be down, sad, and depressed, and what is it that would pick me right up? Getting Down… as I heard in a song once “It’s okay not to be okay” well I’m not okay, I’m alone and so I think, what if I wasn’t. -
But a Man Ain't Supposed To..When’s the last time anyone considered me a man, a boy, or a child, and trust me I have been called much worse. But A Man Ain’t Supposed To… whatever it is I am, I’m not supposed to do some things, and while I fall in love and cry no girl is supposed to. -
Angelic Laughter..If you saw me and I mean just me, this face, I suppose you would think it is quite the joke that I would ever find love. Angelic Laughter… an angel pretending to be a girl or vice versa I find quite hilarious; how did love become such a joke?
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Slip of a LoveSlip of the tongue, a Freudian slip, a whisper of my lips, hell I have shouted the words “I love you” from the rooftops. Slip of a Love… what would I do if some girl told me she loved me, even if she wanted to keep it a secret; just to know. -
Loose LoveI’m constantly falling, constantly calling, and yet something, someone, keeps me hanging on, even when I have no logical reason to. Loose Love… climbing up to that pedestal that I put her on and yet I stay holding on, hasn’t my heart been broken? -
Am I BlueWhile no one asks why everyone knows that I live in misery and even if they did care it’s not like they could convince you. Am I Blue… do you really have to ask, like I heard in a song once “Funny when you’re dead how people start listening" are you? -
Bunny HabitsBunny Habits… I know plenty of would be bunnies with bad habits and I have the habit of falling in love; maybe I should break it.
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Shy SurpriseI’d say hello, I’d ask the question, if only I didn’t know always what the answer would be. Shy Surprise…
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Dead BeatWhere civil blood makes civil hands unclean and when I think about us I wonder were either of us ever civil. Dead Beat… you wanted to live and apparently I wanted to die because I was infected with my love for you, DNA chained, strained, and to blame. -
Rock BottomIf you were to care enough to ask me why I’m down I’d tell you I’m not there yet; sure I’m falling but what is down, a direction or a destination. Rock Bottom… is where I’m going and I don’t ever expect to get up again, As if you’re waiting for me? -
Inside Looking OutA poem about Love.
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Hushing LoveMaybe I’m better off not saying anything, guys talk about sex all the time and get girls that love them; I choose love and no girl even likes me, not to mention what happened with “Sweetness” Hushing Love… a better chance of silencing my heart. -
Salvation Lies SleepingHow long have I sought salvation on my knees and yet I seek to find it on my back and for once not in the gift of death. Salvation Lies Sleeping… at least I wish she were so and not just another dream; I wonder will she always be so. -
Why Blues..Blue Balls, I wonder did anyone really check and what about having The Blues, tears reflecting the inside or the outside of the bluest sky or ocean. Why Blues… I can’t remember the color of her panties, or her eyes, there was only darkness; ah love. -
Coach CupidIf love was a sport… that explains why I have never been good at it, hell I don’t even play sport video games. Coach Cupid… I never learned the rules, have I ever really played the game and yet in loving you “Sweetness” I want to be a starter. -
The Outside GirlOutside wanting to look deep within; I have seen so many beautiful girls but when I see what’s inside… maybe I’m just blind, isn’t that right “Sweetness”? The Outside Girl… maybe I will see love someday but it seems so much simpler to love the outside. -
Dreaming AwakeI usually don’t have nightmares when I’m sleeping but sense I have been working it seems the days and the nights are beginning to blur and being awake is a nightmare. Dreaming Awake… I think I rather not dream at all anymore and yet I continue.
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Grisly Load - a ProcessLife for want of a box; seems somewhat ironic that I am surrounded by boxes at work and no I don’t work at a funeral parlor; I work at Kohl’s. Grisly Load – A Process… most days I empty boxes of crap and all I want to do is curl up in one and die.
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With Life's SojournWhat is the point of an existence to simply continue that existence, especially one as pathetic as mine? With Life’s Sojourn… how if anything I have been wanting to move towards death and I keep backing up, as if that was my fault, which I it is.
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Mr. Lonely ~ Angel’s DescentNow I know today’s supposed to be about me but I can’t deny that a girl would have to do some pretty raunchy stuff to be with me. I think it’s because I have believed in… let’s call it "Courtly Love" for so long like "Spinelli on General Hospital".
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Angel's DescentBack and forth, up and down, faster, faster, no this isn’t Cruel Intentions two and while the horse seemed to mind, the guy didn’t. Angel’s Descent… falling down, falling in love, be it with or on me, the fact is I need a fallen angel and I’m straight.
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Where Paradise GrowsHave you been to paradise; don’t tell me about it, not because of my jealously but because I think it is different for everyone. Where Paradise Grows… that can be the only explanation as to why I have not found it yet; I can’t grow it alone though.
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Creative WritingPeople talk of God’s creativity and I no I am not one for such daring but in all honesty who creates this thing called love? Creative Summer… I wish I could create such a summer’s day worthy of being remembered, a day finally where I am loved.
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Working StiffWorking myself to the bone… more like working while I’m shaking in my bones; I don’t just hate going to work but I’m afraid to. Working Stiff… I couldn’t be one of those zombies even if I wanted to be but that doesn’t stop me from dying inside.
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Memorial ScentI could smell the dead and still I smelled worse, my bed becoming my coffin; how many times I wished to die in my sleep. Memorial Scent… when I finally do die there will be nothing left of me but a mess; I will only be remembered as crap.
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A Crap AuthorI wonder does anyone remember “William the Bloody” and I’m only “Will the Stinky” I suppose I should really work on that. A Crap Author… not like those chicks as Kohl’s know me as an author but everyone sees me only as crap, body, words, and heart.
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Conventional ShunningNever been to prison though I did a stint in juvenile hall and it was not good, fun, or safe, and yet it’s like my whole world is a prison. Conventional Shunning… where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide; do I want to anymore?
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A ~ MuseAll eyes on me; strange that this is both the nightmare and the dream and in truth do I really know what I want? A ~ Muse… I suppose I could take it if I were famous or even infamous but I’m just a joke that’s repeated; I guess that’s something.
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Lion NOT MeWhat a beast I am not, or maybe as it was said of Spike Spiegel, a beast who has lost his fangs but that didn’t stop my hero from dropping a lot of bodies. Lion NOT Me… you know what happens to heroes but being a pussy “cat” I’m not safe either.
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Lying with a DreamLying with beauty, perfection, and seduction, no wonder she knows so many and dare I dream to make her mine. Lying With A Dream… isn’t that how it is done in the Bible, in our minds, and before our very eyes, yes I lie here in love if only I would never…
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Hot InkBlack like oil, burning, bubbling, but it’s nothing more than a mess that hasn’t gone away yet. Hot Ink… not a sexy tramp stamp but the ink burning so many pages, so many days, and my whole life away for love of a pretty girl, maybe my love for you.
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Mrs. SandmanHow long I have dreamed of a paradise, somewhere only we know as the song goes and yet where am I? Mrs. Sandman… isn’t just me to dream my life away and to be buried beneath the sand but if I could find you, who knows.
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Shine in FiveI’m ready for my close up, I’m ready to be in the spotlight; okay maybe not but to be alone, in the darkness, one heart beating for another is no better. Shine In Five… what is it I’m waiting for; and I waiting for people, or some pretty girl perhaps?
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A Fair TurnChild of God and I ask what God would allow his other children to make me feel like this; my sister is the golden child of the family I don’t need everyone else putting themselves over me. A Fair Turn… I’ll be a son of the Devil but he has a chance
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Belated ExaltationBelated something, I finally thought about what that really might mean; you know what day I really don’t want to talk about. Belated Exaltation… I think I’m overdue for happiness, for life, and even my death; do you remember when I didn’t want to forget?
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Love's LucidityHow crazy are you; to be you, someone else, or different, maybe even better, isn’t this what love does to us, seems to me like a form of insanity. Love’s Lucidity… to be in love is to lose reason as if I ever had that in the first place really.
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Grow on MeMoney don’t grow on trees, only leaves and underneath those leaves sits me wishing and hoping that some girl would sit with me. Grow On Me… but growing takes time and no girl is willing to take that time, not unless I could help her grow; seed money.
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SkyrocketingAs the song goes… skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight; I wouldn’t know anything about but I imagine when I’m looking at a girl’s… Skyrocketing… do you know how much it cost to put a man on the moon; probably less to put a pretty girl into my bed.
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Lover's BabelIt’s not that speak different languages, I think it’s we speak different truths and how many truths can there be and how many are lies? Lover’s Babel… how does one reach you; more to the point how does one reach Heaven, secret lovely lies.
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Where the Sun Does Shine... AfterIn a place where there is no darkness, I read this in a story once but I don’t love Big Brother I do love you “Sweetness” Where The Sun Does Shine… After; I must admit though I feel more like Winston Smith and less like a fool in love, hell I’m both.
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The Lover is FallingI see everything high above me, especially you “Sweetness” and how I dream to be crushed beneath it but you’re so soft, my light in the dark, my angel. The Lover Is Falling… how I dream someday you’ll fall so that I may reach you, climbing, flying; I try.
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The Right Kind of LoveUseless organs or at the very least, organs that you can live without; one I wish I could get rid of and the other has been a real pain as of late. The Right Kind of Love… hasn’t love been at the center of all my problems and now appendicitis maybe
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The Screams Drew YouThe truth will set you free… yeah of the mortal coil; I hate liars but I do know the value of their lies. The Screams Drew You… yes the truth is killing me but the lies are the accomplice, so am I still a victim, a killer maybe it’s just really loud.
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Pulse Sate ThingIt’s that beat, that endless beat, which is causing me the most pain and how it scares me to think that for once I might actually want to live. Pulse Sate Thing… what if there was nothing to pulsate, insanity to want so much.
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Better Left HollowSo what if my heart has been broken if it was filled with nothing as you have chosen to believe. Better Left Hollow… eyes filled with your beauty, mind filled with words, and a heart full of feeling, if only there had been nothing to spill out.
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Pillow... CaseHave you ever been in love… my guess is you have but what proof is there to that fact? Pillow… Case, I can’t prove to you that you broke my heart and I can’t prove that I love you or that I still do but if we had ever been together…
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Shore LoveLove for me has never been a sure thing, especially when it comes to me loving you, hell could you call it anything considering how you feel? Shore Love… Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers but somehow they reached each other “Sweetness”
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Race in the DirtWhen did I start to think of myself as dirt… when “you people” treated me as such, maybe just the look of me, or maybe when I actually started to believe you. Race in the Dirt… no I’m not judged by the color of my skin or the content of my character.
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Mellow SunshineThe light doesn’t chase the monsters away it just makes them all the clearer and so I ask myself why I seek it out. Mellow Sunshine… the world isn’t as happy a place as any of you would pretend it to be, notice one sun and yet there are so many stars.
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Some People NOT MeTo think I turned my back on most of the world but honestly how much is the African American population that I’m a part of. Some People NOT Me… I finally realize the people who are making me the most miserable and they wonder why I don’t want to be them
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Wood YouNot misspelled an actual idea, as much as I wish you would lie with me, would you stand with me comes first and foremost. Wood You… something for me is already at attention but would you stand on your own two feet for me and no other, like a girlfriend.
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Reflective ErectionWhat do I see when I look in the mirror, ugly, lonely, that thing in the mirror, whatever you hold that to be “Sweetness” now or back then. Reflective Erection… as I heard in a song “I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom” a fantasy I suppose.
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Next Door AliensMars, Venus, any star in the night sky, as the song goes “as long as you love me” an alien with a monster I suppose. Next Door Aliens… if only it was so very easy to find love and if I ever do who would ever accept me or that unlucky girl ever again?
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Surprising EyesI’m not usually surprised by what I see in the world but somehow I forgot beautiful until I first saw you “Sweetness” gracing YouTube. Surprising Eyes… your beauty was the surprise because everything else hell it was seeing just another girl.
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Reputed UndisputedWho am I… I don’t bother to ask myself this question anymore because even if I honestly knew you wouldn’t care to know. Reputed Undisputed… you already have made up in your mind who I am and what I’m trying to say or it doesn’t matter at all.
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Pupil PushedWhat I choose to see… if I had my way I would prefer never to see anything of this world ever again, because people say I’m blind. Pupil Pushed… if I course force you to see as I see instead of the other way around
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The Way to LoveI see a pretty girl, I see you; now I want you but what should I do, in truth there is nothing I can possibly do right? The Way to Love… there is of course no way, rules, a path, even a hope, or a chance so how do I love you; I have no idea.
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Show Off LoveI Love You; words I long to hear but words that have never truly been meant and so I have never been happy. Show Off Love… a love that doesn’t hurt me that I’m not ashamed of, for you to love me and actually be with me in the public eye.
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A High Time to LoveBolder, Better, Faster, Stronger; what’s so wrong with getting higher, I might actually be on Sweetness’s level. A High Time To Love… I’m never going to grow up, so while bother reaching out; it’s not like she’ll ever reach back.
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Typing TimesWith these hands, this face, and this voice it doesn’t matter how pretty I dress the words up in this day and age all I am is a monster. Typing Times… to think there was a time when I was actually looked upon as desirable, before web cameras and blogs.
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News of a New HeartbeatNewsflash, I still have a heart and it continues to beat even when I wish that it didn’t. News of a New Heartbeat… maybe I thought you would like to know “Sweetness” but I’m only dreaming aren’t I; there is nothing to report on the two of us.
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Where the Love Does GrowMy love grew in bed, in dreams, in desires, hell even in some nightmares that kept me up nights. Where The Love Does Grow… years have gone by, why can’t I just give up I mean I have and then again I haven’t.
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A Torch of LoveWho carries a torch in this day and age, I suppose I’m old-fashioned “Sweetness” considering how long I have carried a torch for you. A Torch of Love… yeah I’m burning, standing so close to the fire and yet you’re so much hotter, moth to a “dame”
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An Open Account of NothingPut something in her mouth, my zipper’s stuck; this is what I wanted to say to this chick at my other job, a few days back. An Open Account of Nothing… doesn’t really matter what I say, oops, my point is maybe people are better off, closed off.
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BeefyWho’s hungry, I rather starve that eat at Hardee’s, even if they had the last food on the planet. Beefy… I have plenty of beef with Hardee’s and I don’t care what Taco Bell puts in the food if they would hire me and they don’t make me hate them.
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Six Dollar ClownsHating me own kind… the blood that rushes through my veins, other black people, and most definitely my Hardee’s uniform; to think red and black are my favorite colors. Six Dollar Clowns… I don’t want to be one; personally I hope they see this, fired.
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Something BirthdayMy birthday is September 7th and to be completely honest I wish I had never been born, this is just me stating the facts. Something Birthday… I don’t want to hear the words “Happy Birthday” people mourn September 11th; my mourning starts earlier.
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Heart… and Everything Else of DarknessHow much evil is done in the light and yet my evil is not tolerated, no not at all; no girl would ever follow me into the darkness. Heart… and Everything Else of Darkness; I’m an idiot for even continuing to have hope that “she” will be as dark as I am.
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Lover's LoopTo be in the loop, in the circle, in school no one ever worried about me messing up the curve, I was always going one direction; straight down. Lover’s Loop… shouldn’t be lover’s leap, what you have a problem with me “hanging” out; outside that door is…
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See LOVE ElsewhereIt’s not there, inside, or without, at least not for me and hell how can I even say that I see it or have it at all, though I do my best to define it. See LOVE Elsewhere… it’s got to be somewhere right, just never between you and me, huh “Sweetness”?
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UnderneathIf only I had been like other guys, who am I to deny I wanted you “Sweetness” yet I gave you my heart and I wonder if you even have one. Underneath… ok I wanted to see you naked but I needed something so much deeper and that was your heart.
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To Grant... LoveI’ve never had a wish come true, perhaps in younger days I still believed in such things, hell I still believe in you “Sweetness” despite everything. To Grant… Love; Genie from Aladdin couldn’t do that and thus I find myself here alone.
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A Groovy Time of LoveThe light of love… I’m not talking about you “Sweetness” how I wish I was, how I thought I saw it once but that wasn’t even remotely true. A Groovy Time of Love… all the light in the world and I think we see each other too well or maybe we’re both blind.
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A Lovely DeathLove… it reminds me a lot of my multiple suicide attempts, it sucks, it’s painful, and at the end of the day the promise is never kept. A Lovely Death… I’m still alone and I’m still alive and maybe I’m just a coward or could it be you are waiting for me.
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Mad SeasonAs the song goes “I feel stupid” hell this whole thing is stupid but why stop now you know “Sweetness” Mad Season… I’m coming to the end of another one and I’m sick of repeating the cycle or maybe not because I’m still here and why do I still need you
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Jammed PeachI was in a jam, I was in love and if you knew me you would know that it always leads to trouble, call it persistence, purpose, but for Sweetness I think she looked at it as obsessed. Jammed Peach… but I think it’s my heart in the jar, I’m all alone.
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Off... LiveLove at first sight or maybe byte but rejection remains the same no matter the technology. Off... Live; of course it took a computer to know her but the love was felt all the same and is stilled shared in Heaven, Hell, and the Internet.
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Leaving YouOne more night… I could never have one for want of another because you weren’t just some hot girl “Sweetness” I know how I feel about you. Leaving You… had I just one night with you in my arms I would have to and in the end; I would still love you.
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I Love You, So..Getting in touch with my inner “Freddy” long before I knew about “Nightmare on Elm Street”. I Love You, So… whenever I want you all I have to do is dream “Sweetness” and of course this is the reason you will never be mine and yet I still dream.
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Shaky DeliveryCupid, draw back your bow; I wonder if he is a better shot than me, as if I ever had a true shot with you “Sweetness” Shaky Delivery… I’m downright terrified to see what would happen if you ever saw this, I know what it’s like to miss.
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My Heart's First BindLove at first sight, you won’t believe it but it’s true, it’s just you and every other girl “Sweetness†never see that when you look at me. My Heart’s First Bind… I remember all the first w
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The First ImpressionistThis is my impression of being a writer, a boyfriend, and trying to be me but I have no idea who that is and neither do you. The First Impressionist… always I’m trying to be and the thing is I guess I’m always in the eye of the beholder *sigh*
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The I Don't Knows of FirstI’m not there yet… not left or right, up or down but the thing is I’m on the road, I’m climbing the mountain and somehow I feel I’m going in the right direction. The I Don’t Knows of Firstâ€Â
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A Baring Absence of LoveI'm not absent of feeling, I am absent of the want to feel because all you ever make me feel is pain and everyone sees it. A Baring Absence of Love -- I want to see you bare, exposed, and naked as I have been; a show of love or at least I won't be fooled.
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Take Me... WellWhat are things I wanted you to say to me, back when I had more balls than brains; and all of me was dreaming. Take Me -- Well; where is that lovers go -- I wouldn't know the first thing except that I wanted you to be my -- well does it even matter anymore?
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Just a Teddy on the FloorI sat there, I let you, and I would do so again, be your toy fall in love with you again -- as if I ever stopped. Just A Teddy On The Floor -- my gift, I'm waiting for you but if I remember we never ever played before Sweetness, didn't need me then or now.
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Sea of Electrons, an AirNo web cams, not streaming and it wasn't even the day to day -- for you but I treated this love as if you were right here with me. Sea of Electrons, An Air -- I wonder how you were that day for me, it was as if I couldn't breathe, no air, no air.
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Checkered PastMy background, my past, and the present; everyone wonders why I have no future or they don't care to wonder. Checkered Past -- does it matter black or white, in living color; what I am is what I am and that is exactly what you don't want ever.
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Drowning in BecauseReasons, Excuses, and because; telling me why you don't love me is as easy breathing and that is something that is getting harder and harder for me to do. Drowning In Because -- my head is barely above water, my fault for still hearing anything.
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Orange You GladI've never been one for fruit and I've been one for girls but the fruit is ripe but am I boyfriend ready; perhaps not, perhaps I never will be. Orange You Glad -- you'll never be my girlfriend or maybe you're just looking for a bite, ouch.
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Dollars, Words, Me -- Can't Buy Me LoveI can't buy your love, hers, or hers, so what is it I'm really paying for, what is it that I wish to take. Dollars, Words, Me -- Can't Buy Me Love; I need so very little and now I want so much and in the end, as always you will give me nothing.
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Are You... Just a GirlI'll fall in love with you and then you'll become something better, something greater, and I'll find myself unworthy of your love. Are You -- Just A Girl; no never and this is the reason you'll never love me, no not ever.
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Looking DimMy birthday is coming up; no better day to kill myself but I've been trying, multiple pill binges, starving myself, and The Abomination won't murder me though he wants to. Looking Dim -- so many candles now and yet my future is in darkness.
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Aloft My LoveI have placed girls on pedestals, on clouds of white, and even as stars in the sky; this is no different the fact she is so high above me. Aloft My Love -- we never got to 'œhang' out but why is it I still adore her and reach out.
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Goodbye is My New HighAnother fix, sleeping pills aren't enough, starvation, hell not even a broken heart is enough for me to get off any more, a masochist wanting desperately to play sadist. Goodbye Is My New High -- death has to be that ultimate high.
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More in the ClosetNo I'm not gay -- relax, I guess I should be saying that to everyone but there is something in the closet but not skeletons, not yet. More In The Closet -- more than darkness, more than loneliness, how about it ladies, any of you got seven minutes.
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Before You Leave... Please StayThere was a time I thought I convince a girl to stay, there was a time I thought I could convince a girl to follow too and here I am alone. Before You Leave -- Please Stay; to think about if I could win her but I couldn't win Sweetness.
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Carnal LearningThe lesson, how to love a pretty girl but having grown up I still don't know how, I don't know the first thing. Carnal Learning -- how I once stared at this girl in class and another that made me realize that I still don't know a thing.
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No One Goes ThereGo where -- are you listening to me, go where and no this is not the body snatchers again this is good ole humanity I'm attempting to escape. No One Goes There -- I've seen 'œthere', I want to go 'œthere'; I'm less scared than yesterday.
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Full Mouth... On an Empty StomachSomeone told me once that went I attempted to starve myself to death (six days, not pretty) that I was emotional starved or something to that effect. Full Mouth -- On An Empty Stomach, I couldn't eat because I was already so full of rage and sadness.
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Looking GrimDoes anyone remember 'œDaria' and the episode the Misery Chick, she only knew the truth; better than most. Looking Grim -- but how many people get to see my face and yet I talk about my life and -- who am I kidding my life is miserable.
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A Word for MeHow many ways can I tell her that I love her, how many words have I written speaking of my feelings? A Word For Me -- I eventually did get that word, a year and a half later and if I was to speak just one more -- so I sit and wait hoping for another word.
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Nowhere to LoveSomewhere only we know or somewhere only I know it seems, considering I'm the only one that feels -- out of place, there is no place. Nowhere to Love -- how I hope this isn't true forever; I hope I can find a place or if anything just find 'œher'
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A Lovely HauntingI was surely dead before I met her and I died after her but if I truly am alive I don't see dead people, I see a lovely girl. A Lovely Haunting -- if anything I wish she was the monster because at the very least she can touch me, she wants me.
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Behind the LineHow many times have I been on the edge of something, how many times have I been pulled back; in my life this has been a very big mistake. Behind The Line -- I think I just want to jump and see if the grass really is greener -- down there.
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The Sound of CarrionI listened to her songs and her laughter, I endured her silent treatment, and I even heard her fear and her lies. The Sound of Carrion -- sweet sounds of decay because after you have heard such a siren's song really what else is there worth listening to?
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My Hellish SkylineI saw Heaven once, the stars at night, in dreams I once had, and in a pretty girl's eyes but I don't look up anymore. My Hellish Skyline -- where I'm going, where I've been, and it's not a pretty sight; why get spit on, punched out, humiliated once again --
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The Home... PleaseWhere does love rest -- upon Aphrodite's breasts I would imagine and what man could ask for more? The Home -- Please; the place where I belong, more than a house though I never had one of my own really; a drink poured by my love, a place, a heart, for me.
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To Be a VoiceI spoke once, laughed, cried, and screamed but not anymore; it seems that the more noise I make, the less anyone hears. To Be A Voice -- and not what you want me to be, no longer silent; can't you hear me screaming or am I already dead?
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Words Are OutWhat have words ever gotten me; the saying the pen is mightier than sword is when we leave our words for action. Words Are Out -- have I said all that I needed to say, I think if anything I was done trying, just where oh where did I put that sword?
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Hanging in HeavenWhat's your idea of Heaven, paradise, hell of a good world because if this is a good world, stop the ride I want to get off. Hanging In Heaven -- because this world is Hell to me but to be riding the clouds, my feet don't touch the ground
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Sky DyingI want to believe I can fly but I probably can't, that's what everyone in the world keeps telling me. Sky Dying -- why are you holding me back, this is what everyone wants and I don't want to be tied down any more. Make the leap; take the plunge
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Higher FallingFalling in love I thought was supposed to raise one higher and I have only been falling deeper and deeper into Hell. Higher Falling -- if some girl wants me she is going to have to fall and right now I would prefer some part of her anatomy.
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Fine DimeA dime -- I would have all said she was worth a million, a billon, a trillion, but hell the love of a girl you can call your own is priceless. Fine Dime -- I don't have a dime, I'm broke, a virgin, maybe both, my pockets are empty and so is my bed.
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A Mourning of Morning WoordIt might not be love I'm dreaming about but at least I'm not alone; that is until I wake up in the morning. A Mourning of Morning Wood -- a constant reminder that I am all alone with my lust and my love. Maybe one day I will shout out TIMBER!!!
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DowncastMan comes from dirt or so I've been told but it's one thing to come from dirt and quite another to be treated as such. Downcast -- how many should be angels have treated me as nothing; for once in my life I look at them just as lowly.
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High Off LifeI'm usually falling not flying and I don't think I'm flying now; more like building a bridge towards the sky. High Off Life -- existing is withdrawal, suicide is cold turkey, but I guess I want a new drug; something to convince me to stay -- so much higher.
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Free Love or MeLove has always been very depressing, is it any wonder that he, she, it decided to take its own life; don't look at me like that. Free Love or Me -- someone should have tried to help you know, some pretty girl but instead I'm the guilty one right?
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Cool Cat... NotDogs chase cats and cats chase rats and what if the prey was to turn upon the predators and know that they would lose; spider and the fly. Cool Cat -- Not is me looking upon everyone that has made me prey; why fight destiny, come and get me.
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Missing Some of EverythingI am not complete; I suppose I ought to be but I've always been missing a piece of me, I'm a puzzle that will never be complete. Missing Some of Everything -- not her though, I think she has everything or at least more than me but that's true of everyone.
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How Over You I WasOverboard -- and all this time I thought I wasn't trying hard enough but no I do believe I have gone overboard. How Over You I Was -- hell I thought I was getting there and then I went to the library, she showed up on Facebook, and everywhere else --
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SpillWhere I sleep alone, where I have no home, and yet I want to bone but more importantly I want to hug and love someone I've been dreaming of. Spill, well I can think of many other words of what I do when I see a pretty girl
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Mother... UnlessUnless what, even the evil, most depraved, things have mothers and really I am no different both in depravity and in having a mother. Mother -- Unless, an ode to, well maybe you don't need to know but my mom is a good mom or so I think...
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Before I'm BrokenThe whole me is left in bed, almost dead I guess but I travel to a better world whole and in one piece. Before I'm Broken -- which is here I fear because no one loves the whole me, hell not even the pieces and how could anyone call that liking or loving
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Empty HandedA reach if I've ever heard one; yeah I suppose I'm not funny -- hell what am I talking about, I'm funny, I'm just the joke and not the comedian. Empty Handed -- when you have nothing to hold what is there left to do really but fall; didn't have to let go.
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Too Much NoiseThe voices of my life are those of pain and misery; makes me a great writer or am I really not much of anything. Too Much Noise -- beatings, thinking, and my very own voice and what about all these words, a girl, and the whole damn world
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Seek Not the ImpossibleLife is impossible -- notice I did not say impossible dream but and impossible nightmare that somehow I find myself making possible with every single day. Seek Not The Impossible is me wanting things that should be so very simple and let impossible --
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Behind the BellsAsk not for whom the bell tolls -- or so they say; the bells rung for me and her a long time ago and yet she is with someone -- probably and I am all alone. Behind The Bells is the sound of my heart being broken yet again; I mean you didn't know?
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At the SeamsChained and bound really, though all that anyone sees is clothes; it's why I wear the same thing everyday I suppose. At The Seams is my yearning to burst free while possibly binding, and entwining someone to me; if you love them set them free right --
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Baring AngelIf you want to be my lover -- okay you don't but I'm looking for a certain type of girl; yeah where haven't you heard that one before. Baring Angel is my tendency to fall for such girls and what I wish I could have from a good girl -- 1984's Julia maybe
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Stretching YouThis poem was written for three girls, one is on Glee (guess) and the other two an internet darling such was 'œSweetness' and a pretty blonde librarian. 'œStretching You' I never ever and they probably have good guys I just told The Truth --
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A Line Curved from DivineEverything is so twisted in this world and yet we are taught to seek the straight and narrow path as it were. 'œA Line Curved From Divine' the such noble pursuits with twists and turns but what about love -- lust, the curves of a pretty girl?
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Running with Love... And Other Sharp ObjectsDon't they say don't run with scissors -- the same can be said about love because you will fall. '..."Running With Love -- And Other Sharp Objects' as you can imagine I didn't fall into some pretty girl's arms, I didn't fall into bed, so what's the POINT
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WallflowerI would love to believe there is some girl waiting for me but if the world is a dance then I'm the one that is standing here all alone. 'œWallflower' there is such beauty in this garden but all the flowers are out there but there must be one other --
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Dance MovesAn ode to virginity maybe, to have never danced before but who shall I ask to dance with me tonight. What if I finally had a partner I talk so much about dancing but I've never tried before. 'œDance Moves' soon or later we all have to learn right --
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Remedial SoundThere's just noise, that's all there is and nothing more because if I allow The Abomination's voice to be the only one or the voice of another girl rejecting me -- 'œRemedial Sound' when they hear me there is nothing but themselves.
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CopycatIf only to believe for just a little while, not in God but that I could truly be loved; this would be worth a fortune. 'œCopycat' a girl for what fifteen minutes to not be alone because what girl could possibly compare, what girl would honestly love me --
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A Head Full of ColorI think of The Abomination; he wants me to die but is not 'œman' enough to murder me so instead he pushes me towards suicide. 'œA Head Full of Color' all I have wanted was to add beauty and truth to the world but the world will only be painted...
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A Me Without ClutterWhat makes me -- this shell, the desire for wealth, maybe it's what I own but as The Abomination says I own nothing; I don't own me. So will there come a day when everything I am buried beneath means nothing, what will I be then, ~A Me Without Clutter~
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Feel the VibrationA dream -- of a certain type, wet and wild, dangerous, and growing but I'm still here all alone as always. I wish there was a night in which, me and some girl could make the bed springs sing but there never is. 'œFeel The Vibration' but the dead don't move --
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All Tied UpI'm not a soldier of love but more a prisoner of it, how do they say, love is a battlefield and I'm losing both the battle and the war. 'œAll Tied Up' it seems that everything I do only serves to imprison me in love's sticky web; I'm a fly struggling.
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ChargeWhat do women want -- everything which equals money and that's something I just don't have. What does a bull want when facing a matador, that I cannot say but what happens to the bull? 'œCharge' this is what I'm doing and I'm only in the red --
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Spoken ThreeTo speak three words with one little voice -- I don't know if any girl would actually hear me. I have given millions of words and I only receive one in return and that word is no. 'œSpoken Three' maybe 'œI Love You' or something but 'œNo' is the word.
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Whipped and CreamedDepravity doesn't seem so evil when you take love out of the equation but how can I link the two -- why do others wish to separate love and sex. 'œWhipped and Creamed' is simply me without my heart living the pure ecstasy of the moment...
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Love's HistoryI've never had a first love or no girl has ever been in love with me; a historical fact. There seems to be no end to the countless rejects, heartbreaks, and beautiful girls that are brought into my sight. 'œLove's History' is my history it goes on.
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Beating the LoverDon't beat yourself up -- leave it to the professionals; girls have been doing it forever. What about the idea that 'œdon't play with that, you'll go blind' hell I have glasses now. 'œBeating The Lover' sure I wish I could beat love...
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Green to GoIt's not easy being green, Kermit once said and he was telling the absolute truth on the subject. In the end though life went let me say 'œswimmingly' for him, he did marry Miss Piggy after all. 'œGreen to Go' yes I'm plenty green but not in a good way --
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The Harm of a CookiePlenty of HARM, this poem caused me nothing but trouble with the mommies, I was perverted, depraved, and immoral; I'm all these things and more I know. 'œThe Harm of a Cookie' would I be better looking at pornstars or with a fleshlight, I wonder 'œHARM'
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Then the World... Hasn't EndedThis was when I still had hope, hell I can't get rid of hope, not as long as I'm still spinning along with the earth. 'œThen The World -- Hasn't Ended' actually I was counting on it seeing as how I don't want to fall in love; still plenty of pretty girls
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Are You Waiting for Me..They say the problem with dreams girls is they have a tendency to become real, case and point the 'œBoricua Princess' that I once loved. 'œAre You Waiting For Me -- ' is me coming to the realization that the girl that will love me -- has to stay a dream.
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Take Me Home'œWhat do women want' everything and so they don't want me but I imagined a world where this wasn't so for a night. 'œTake Me Home' I guess I wasn't considering love either if all I could ask for was just one night. If only I could know 'œthis' just once --
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Welcome to ImpossibleWhy have I been cursed to know the truth, to know people that lie, and with the impossibility that no I won't be the one to go home and 'œsleep' with the prom queen and I am continually cursed to try. 'œWelcome To Impossible' this is where I live --
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Dying HappyThis is what is expected of me; indeed of most though most pretend that they are not dying a little everyday. 'œDying Happy' and I wish I wasn't expected to go out with a smile on my face; I am whimpering but to go out with a bang, to be remembered.
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A Drop of Pretty GirlThere is a place I've never been, that my fingers have never been allowed to tread but I have seen the map traced many a time by the pool. A Drop of Pretty Girl, a thirst that has gripped me as I walk alone in this desert, if only the taste of love --
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A Father's MasterpieceThe thought that I am such a thing to him, his greatest victory, biggest victim, and that I am worthless to him make me physical ill. 'œA Father's Masterpiece' I have known so great fathers but I am not talking about my own with this; The Abomination.
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Well is HeShe didn't leave me, we were never together, but I wonder is she seeing anyone now; not that he would have to be godlike to be better than me. "Well Is He" I don't think anyone could love my YouTube angel the way I did; I want her to be happy, but him --
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You Have to WaitI have chased love for as long as I can remember; I have chased "Sweetness" and all she did was run from me and finally send me away. "You Have To Wait" I suppose that's true but I wonder is she waiting for anyone -- I know it's not me
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Empty HandedWith these hands I have done nothing, I am an innocent and yet I have been made guilty while others having everything, walk free. What is a man to do when he can offer his daughter nothing but his two hands and those hands are dying?
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Fallen for MeA fallen angel -- what other girl would have me other than one that has fallen low as I have been buried so low. "Fallen For Me" is about how low a girl would have to fall, the depths of her depravity all the way into Hell and into my arms.
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When She AwakesAfter making love -- how dare I even assume that me and her made love but after our night together what is going to happen. "When She Awakes" is about such a time is it wrong of me to think accidentally in love?
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At Least TonightI'm lonely -- what more is there to say; I could never have the girl I love so what's wrong with wishing for a night I wouldn't be alone? "At Least Tonight" was one of those nights where all I wanted was someone to touch me --
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Grave PerfectionMomma said there'd be days like this -- well no she didn't but there are days I look at the man she married and I just one to put a bullet through my skull. "Grave Perfection" I believe is the only way that everyone would be pleased, a perfect me...
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HimI heard in a song once -- males shouldn't be jealous that's a female trait but I can't help it wanting to be the pornstar, the boyfriend, or the lover. "Him" yeah I know he is everywhere and he will never be me and yet how I have always wished...
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Why Me, Why YouI'm always thinking, I'm always knowing, and that's why I don't bother doing, because in the end I know it doesn't make a difference. "Why Me, Why You" well you will tell me I'm wrong but I'm still me and I'm still you and we won't be together because
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A Shot of HappyI'm not a drinker, really I'm not and so I cannot dull the pain, the misery, and never really which is my existence. "A Shot of Happy" I doubt I would ever drink it but honestly I don't want to see me -- hell go ahead and bring on the beer goggles.
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Road to NowhereIt's no secret that I am lost only I'm sick of everyone telling me where to go as if they have any clue themselves. "Road to Nowhere" that is what this is so let me just know this path or be kind enough to kill me already because I'm tired of running --
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Can't Let GoTo be without "her" -- well there goes my ticket to Heaven but even Hell would be paradise with her and yet to drag her down with me, how wrong is this? "Can't Let Go" and how I have tried, hell I have and yet I still remember her so I ask Really --
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You Gonna Get ThatI hate phones, I hate voices, dare I said it I hate people and yet I love words; when it comes to phones though I always get the bad ones or none at all. "You Gonna Get That" is about a girl I never called and never called me but if I had or if she --
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But... My GirlfriendIs there a girl who could ever match up to the girl I loved -- hell I fell in love with a Boricua princess, an angel, a goddess, so how could I be expected to choose, just a girl. "But -- My Girlfriend" was me trying to find someone but I never will.
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Without..Without -- what, all my life I have heard stories of chivalry, of kindness, and of politeness and what has that ever gotten me; indeed I am alone. "Without -- " love what is a man, no a beast to do; I am no man just a boy but no beast either but others --
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Hear Me OutI was a very bad boy and mommy threw me out, it's not like she's my mother and she only threw me out of "The Sanctuary" which is a writing group on Facebook. Now I knew I was going to be in trouble, I wrote this for her before I knew my troubles.
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Escape MeThis is the end, the man I was, am, or even want to be ends in a blood spatter and maybe a lot of chatter; if it ain't me that is. "Escape Me" are the thoughts of finally escaping call it life or existence depended upon who it is that meets their end.
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Beastly HungerBad things come in twos, three's, and hell sometimes hundreds or just one as was the case some days ago. The thing about me is I Am LEGION, with all the voices, the evils on top of evils, and my wants and desires but in the end I am only me.
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Exhibit AWhen I fell in love for the first time -- I think I was overly persistent, I watched as my own heart was turned against me, to prove my madness. "I'm a bad man, I don't need no love" the past few days yeah R. Kelly was right just I didn't pee on anyone, Ha
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The Harm of a KillerWhen it comes to me, I would prefer a clean kill but when it comes to others -- well I suppose I could be quite merciful. The HARM of a Killer is about the quickness of death and the tortures of living, and the introduction of one torturer.
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A Lovely IllusionIf I was ever to make a list of everything I want in a girl -- this was it for a time or now; I guess it depends. I set the bar so high for want of a girl that I make them princess, angels, or even goddess and I can't ever reach them. A Lovely Illusion sigh
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Rains in ParadiseParadise isn't as special as some would have you believe, it rains there as it would anywhere else. I once thought that to be with a girl would be paradise but like "The Abomination" girls often make me cry. "Rains in Paradise" yet I still want to go --
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I Wish "She" Has a Happy LifeI'm not going to lie, rereading this I almost cried and I couldn't even listen to the words, maybe I suck, maybe this was just too deep. I Wish "She" Has A Happy Life, I honestly don't know and I can't really bear to imagine where she is now --
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The Last Beautiful GirlI wrote this for a challenge, some "friends" of mine that I barely speak to anymore; I was inspired by Matchbox Twenty's "The Last Beautiful Girl". Turns out now that this "Sweetness" was indeed the last beautiful girl, because all girls are just like her
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The PathTo love someone I think you must give all yourself, that's how I knew it was love because really now would I do all this for just an internet vixen? The Path I still walk all alone because I have realized that there is no one for me, no not anyone.
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More TimeWhat would I do if I had more time -- before "her" I didn't deserve it, didn't want it, I figured I had too much. When it comes to love, you can never have too much; I fell in love with a librarian. I only wanted more time with her and not with the Internet
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Cruel Summer...Now She's HereMaybe it was seeing this pretty librarian I once was in love with, it could have been that ice cream commercial with Rachel Bilson what ever it was this came to mind. It's been pretty hot lately or maybe I'm just running hot and no not in a good way.
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Another Patch of DirtI hear tell that we all come from the dirt and in truth I have never liked that very much as I have always been treated as such. While I was thinking about the home that awaits us all in the end for some inane reason I began dreaming about the beginning.
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Love Needs No ThroneI have never had a home of my own, I feel the want and desire of a palace is beyond me; all I am looking for is a place. I know no girl would lie with me but maybe she would sit beside me; she would have to be just a girl for I have no throne to offer.
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Stronger Than AtlasI am not a titan and I am not a god either but for a moment I realized that I was stronger than both and no that is no boast. So why do I dare to dream such a thing, it's because I can wake up in the morning and do this farce known as existence.