Little Irishman

I have a knack for writing and communication. I have studied in this area and completed a qualification.

I always had a hidden sense of humor I never knew I had or did not have the time to express it properly and freely.

My comic ambitions have come a long way. Three CD's in, with this material being my most recent, I have improved and developed well.
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  • Hey Champ, the Roof is on Fire
    3/7/2012
    They have the Bodybuilding championships, Strong Man competitions, egg and spoon races and now the World Firefighting Championships. First the roof, now the world is on fire, what on Earth did you do?
  • Talk About Epic Tennis
    2/2/2012
    Moses definitely parted the Red Sea and Ben Hur won his nail-biting chariot race, all ‘epic’ spectaculars with an epic star in Charlton Heston. These epics are much like the Djokovic and Nadal 2012 Australian Open final.
  • Living Down the Road from the Hospital
    1/27/2012
    I don’t know if it’s something to be proud about, but living down the road from the hospital can be sweet and sour, and no it’s not a case of bad Chinese takeaway.
  • What a Catch…it’s Game Fishing
    1/11/2012
    I bet you thought it was cricket or baseball. Picture the fish in the big cup of the ocean doing synchronized swimming and singing in harmony as they wait with such joy to hitch the ride of their lives with a Game Fisher.
  • It’s All About Kim Kardashian
    1/6/2012
    Have you waited long enough like a die-hard fan who would do anything for their idol. ‘Oh will you tell’em the price son’. ‘Ok, ok, ok… it’s KK’. ‘An AK you mean.’ ‘No KK.’ ‘KK who?’ enough, I can’t take it anymore. It’s…..Kim Kardashian.
  • That Elusive Parking Spot
    1/2/2012
    It’s finding a needle in a hay stack, but who would bother looking for such a needle. You’ve gotta love your car, but it can be a trap I tell you. How hard can it be to grab that slippery little sucker of a parking spot.
  • Horse, Horse, of Course, of Course
    1/2/2012
    People see horses on the TV, but isn’t it incredible to own a horse of your own. You might say, ok well I’ll own a Tiger cub or Elephant if you can do that. It’s becoming the zoo I tell you.
  • Get into the Fat
    12/27/2011
    Being fat is like the cool thing to do these days (is he for real?). Putting on the fat is one thing (I’m going to put my fat on you honey) but losing the fat is the next tough step, or is it. They’ve found a new fancy word for fat…‘obesity’.
  • What’s the Go with Climate Change
    12/14/2011
    Well there’s the tough ‘rain, hail or shine’ approach (go you football mums and dads), and their is absolute confusion and conflict with ‘climate change’. There, I finally got it out, just like those who like to discuss about it but don’t do anything.
  • Pitter-patter, Golf’s the Matter
    11/29/2011
    What a relaxing method of madness to have a day of fun, frolicking and friskiness (my gosh this sounds good) at the local golf course (oh what, is that it, Golf), or hutt hutt putt-putt, whack 'em driving range & virtual golf & play-hey hey-station golf.
  • Let's Try a Bunnings DIY Workshop
    11/27/2011
    Hasn’t that Bunnings hardware store become like a Fitness First success, they’re everywhere. Hands up who likes to get creative, like using your hands, no not in that way all you dirty rotten scoundrels. It’s the Bunnings Do-It-Yourself (D.I.Y.) workshop
  • Here Comes Another Traffic Jam
    11/19/2011
    Just when you think there is nothing but clear, open road ahead of you, it comes out of no where, and no it is not strawberry jam, but they definitely ‘pump up the jam’ with a… traffic jam.
  • Oh Those Lovey-dovey Song Lyrics
    11/18/2011
    There are some really good love songs out there, and then there are some love songs that are….out there. The females have got it good these days don’t you think, from getting the bloody lot of it to Ne-Yo's miss independence era.
  • My Window Cleaning Job
    11/1/2011
    Isn’t it good to see your reflection in the window as you pass by on a nice Summer’s day. Of course that all depends if the window is clean and transparent and who washed it. Hopefully you can find someone like me to wash your windows for you…not.
  • Man Vs Wild
    10/31/2011
    I’m sure you people have been getting an eye full (watch out, don’t lose an eye) of another SBS pearla of a show, ‘Man vs Wild’. Where would you find a person as crazy and POMMY as Bear Grylls.
  • Payday
    10/29/2011
    This particular day beats any day you might celebrate on your dear calendar. ‘What’, you might say, ‘even anniversaries, Christmas, Easter and birthdays‘. No way. Some might say it does not happen enough. What is it?
  • CSI (Crime-Scene Investigation) Kit for Children at ALDI
    10/28/2011
    That new German supermarket chain in Australia, ALDI, aren’t they great for shopping. Have you seen their latest catalogues. There's heaps of cool stuff to buy, yeah, like a ‘CSI Detective Kit for Children’.
  • Why Get Out of the Car
    10/25/2011
    I invite you to come on the ride of your life. Quality you might say, these days, dream baby dream. You better stop watching re-runs of Pimp-My-Ride. Don’t they look a million dollars; because who would want to get out of their beloved car.
  • Dad's Mug, Mum's Mug
    10/20/2011
    Now put ‘DreamWorld’ and ‘Mug’ together with Dad and Mum and what do you have? Dad and Mum must be up to some mischief and or having a great time at DreamWorld. What this? A ‘Do not Disturb’ notice. Sounds like a place far, far away, hence DreamWorld.
  • A Security Job
    10/19/2011
    A security job, which does have its advantages, seemed a bit like a fairytale to me. Office job, security, office job, security. I mean, it’s a great job, but it takes a skill some people don’t appreciate - Do you what know what this specific skill is?
  • Swear-words
    9/15/2011
    You know, some, or most people call it impolite, disrespectful or uncivilised to do this certain thing. Then again, it could be considered appropriate and outspoken. No it’s not nudity and those lovely nudist beaches. It’s, ‘swear-words’.
  • Actors and Accents
    9/13/2011
    Isn’t it cool, isn’t it sexy, isn’t it unbelievable to have an accent - ‘ooo where are you from?’ Now what about actors, now that’s a tough role, swapping accents like a deck of cards or wardrobe of designer shoes.
  • Animals and Food
    7/30/2011
    Food and animals -- that's them. First, it was a bulldog named Gus, then 'the dog', followed by an English Cockerspaniel named Lizzie who loved English breakfast tea, mixed with mice (watch out ladies) and then the cats took over the battle of the furs.
  • The Zumba
    7/13/2011
    The Samba, and now the Zumba. Get your ass moving to this new craze, but watch out for 'Alexander', all you guys out there, him and his peoples have got some slick and slippery moves to get you moving, or get you jealous with envy...
  • Why Manure?
    7/4/2011
    Manure has a different type of edge, do you know why? Why, because it ' s the real thing. Maure just doesn ' t happen, it happened man, oh yes.
  • Blue Number Plates for Prostate
    7/4/2011
    You see these people are having a charity fundraising drive where you can buy blue vehicle number plates for prostate cancer research. But what if people find out about prostates and stuff, especially your prostate....
  • Paper Towels
    7/4/2011
    Don't people make a mess of things, including themselves. And thank God for 'paper towels' - from wiping your butt to cleaning the yummy spaghetti off your lovely groomed moustache, the 'mouzza'.
  • Fitness Equipment
    7/4/2011
    Keeping fit ' . What an effort. What a mother. Try this, do this; I'm keeping fit just thinking about it. Look at the sweat pour off me, ' honey, I think a storm is coming ' .
  • Stringbean at AIS
    7/4/2011
    I always dreamed of being a sports star. ' Yeah right, you ' . Then I woke up and took a good look in the mirror and said, ' what was I thinking ' . I used to be a real 'stringbean' back in the day...
  • Ingredients in Products
    7/4/2011
    What about all the stuff they throw in products these days man. I don' t know what it is or what it does, but ... ' it sounds technical boss ' . Some of the name of ingredients come from the weird and wonderful - 'where on Earth did that come from'.
  • Local Swimming Pools
    7/4/2011
    If you ain't got a backyard splishy- splashy, a wet 'n wild hose-me-down, slip and slide bump-of-a-ride or the sand and surf of the beeeeaach, sorry beach, well your next best lifesaving option could well be the just-down-the-road swimming pool.
  • My Brother's Noosa Triathlon
    7/4/2011
    Well, my younger brother beat me to it. He got trained up and went in the Noosa Triathlon in Queensland. They even have names for triathlon, Noosa. Rhymes with loser, or No Sir, oh no; speaking about myself here.
  • My Coffee Addiction
    7/4/2011
    Father, Son, Holy Spirit, God Bless coffee. I mean coffee deserves a special blessing in itself doesn't it. Why do you think they put Kofi (coffee) Anan the head of the United Nations (UN).
  • My Cars
    7/4/2011
    Please don't buy me a nice moolah of a car, I'd just mess it up; bump here, scratch there, dent here and there. And I do it with a smile; I'm a car-lovers nightmare.
  • My Crazy Ideas
    7/4/2011
    Apart from trying to come up with ways to get people to laugh, I decided to come up with some 'crazy' ideas and innovations - 'oh yeah and what makes that so special; what have you got'....
  • My Dad's Gallstones
    7/4/2011
    The nurses at Concord Hospital (Sydney)really know how to look after a patient. One patient in particular was my Dad. He was suffering from Gallstones. They are painful. The nurses said, 'the pain of Gallstones is almost equivalent to giving birth'.
  • My Potbelly
    7/4/2011
    My potbelly came out of nowhere, it is always ready to surprise you. Now it is me, myself and potbelly.
  • Piggy Banks
    7/4/2011
    I've never had a pet pig, I mean hey c'mon, but I have a piggy bank -- oink oink.
  • Popular Funny People
    7/4/2011
    'Oh my God, please stop, please, it hurts, ha ha ha, noooooo, brrrr'. Have you every laughed so hard in all your life? That's how hilarious a really good funny person can be. Joke after joke, story after story, these people just flow, 'yeah unlike you'.
  • Pregnant Models
    7/4/2011
    Wouldn't it be fun to be pregnant and also be a model? Men, butt out. You might say, 'behold my beautiful baby bump, and not it's not a bruise'. You could be on Australia's Next Top 'Pregnant' model.
  • Speed Cameras
    7/4/2011
    Remember that famous line from that famous flick, 'I feel the need, the need for speed.' Feels great hey; yeah, ha, tell that to (police siren) and (click click) for all those ignorant and in-the-know speed demons.
  • The Best Hobby Ever
    7/4/2011
    Personally speaking, on behalf of humanity, have found the best hobby ever. Yep, I found it all by myself. I thought, what was I thinking, it's been here all this time (sounds prehistoric man). Can you guess what it is? You ready, it's....
  • They Announced the New Superman
    7/4/2011
    They announced the new 'Superman' just recently. Yeah...I honestly thought I'd be picked, talk about disappointment. Apparently some English dude was picked. I wonder if he eats bangers and mash and goes crazy about soccer.
  • Visiting and Calling Friends
    7/4/2011
    My mates and I have not reached becoming old hags yet, but we do our own thing, occasionally crawling out from under a rock or the woodwork in the house to visit and call one another.
  • My Lovely Writing
    7/4/2011
    I used to slave over the right words to use, but what did I look like, a walking-dictionary, yeah more like a dinosaur. I went from saying nothing, to a blabber mouth to pumping this into my writing repertoire; repertoire, now that's a word for you.
  • Playing Chess
    7/4/2011
    I bought a chess board for $2.50 the other day. I still haven't opened it yet; you could really tell I was excited -- 'Yeah, chess man'. 'So why buy it then chess master', you might blab.
  • Self-help Stuff
    7/4/2011
    So how do you help yourself? You might help yourself to your fridge, your close and intimate friend in times of war....Well, a good start is 'self-help stuff'; 'ah da, I knew that.' 'Yeah, well why don't you do it.'
  • Taking Pictures
    7/4/2011
    Don't you just love people who take photos, 'happy snaps'? 'Another photo everybody.' 'That's the 1000-one today.' I bet they won't be happy snaps after that.
  • Talking Weather
    7/4/2011
    Don't you just love people who talk about the weather? And they go on about the obvious don't they - 'it's pretty hot today hey?'
  • Technology Stuff
    7/4/2011
    For the people who come up with this crazy technology stuff, people back then and now must think they're off- their- heads; 'sounds technical boss'.
  • Valentine's Day
    7/4/2011
    Being a lovey-dovey on Valentine's Day could save you and make you look good for the remainder 364 days of the year.
  • Bringing in the Mail
    7/4/2011
    Have you ever thought about the glory of 'bringing in your mail'? It's a mixed bag of emotions.
  • Commentators
    7/4/2011
    'Turn it up, turn it up', so says veteran and maestro Aussie commentator Ray Warren. And don't commentators half turn it up, they're ten times louder than the spectators and supporters.
  • Boxing Gloves in Females' Car
    7/4/2011
    Have you seen those little pair of boxing gloves in peoples' cars? Talk about catching on, they're everywhere.
  • Ice Cream Man
    5/17/2011
    Yes it should be the No. 1 song on the Australian charts I tell you. For years I didn't hear the Mr. Whippy tune echo through the streets of my local area, then by popular demand it made a comeback. Who is the person behind this famous tune?

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