Early Rahmer
Artist living and working in Chicago, New Orleans, and San Francisco (dependent upon the weather). Contact early.rahmer@gmail.com
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- 10/3/2008
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University of San Francisco, MS FinanceInterests
sound bites, sound effects, humor, culture, sports, coaching, absurdity, subversion, provocation, sexuality, lawMotto
If we must remove the mask, it is only to substitute another mask.
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Displaying Results 1 - 136 (of 136) for Yahoo! Voices
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'Quick Question' Query Yields Mixed ResultsYou have a question and you're going to stop the world with it because, to you, it is most important; and we're going to deal with your question right now.
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Patriot Day, the President, Pipelines, and PackersThe Powerful feel strongest at the pinnacle just before the fall.
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Review of Florian Keller's Book, Andy Kaufman: Wrestling with the American DreamFor any one interested in comedy, performance art, theatre, philosophy, or celebrity culture: you won't find a more compelling home school course in post-graduate Andy Kaufman studies.
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NATO, G-8 Summits, ChicagoChicago is the perfect place for the debate that will ensue during the summits in May of 2012. Understand this industrialized, militarized might will be confronting you, not vice-versa.
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Chicago Cubs Reeling, Wrigleyville Suffering: It's a Ricketts RacketThe money was seamlessly transferred from my hands to the hands of the Cubs organization. This is exactly the scenario Tom Ricketts envisioned when he convinced his father, Joseph Ricketts, to buy the Chicago Cubs.
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Ditty on Play and Jerking Your ChainThe sense of play increases in importance as we age. Long after we've become immune to it. Congratulations. Now you're old.
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A Del Valle Voter Reflects as Emanuel Takes Chicago Mayoral ReinsDel Valle knows we are fed up with being fleeced by systematized snake-oil automatons inflicting upon us systematized brutality, rape, injustice, and corruption. And Miguel took not one dime in contracted campaign contributions to spread his message.
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Remain Vigilant, Mix in a NapIf the United States is going to succeed as a full-fledged banana republic plutocracy, there is to be no sleeping on the job. Call me un-American, but I like napping.
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In Face of Austerity, Americans Do Their BestThe state of the American economy: time for executive owners, government officials, and management to step up.
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Total Clown Paid Handsomely for Egregious CommentsThe Egyptian is fed up with the dictatorial oppression, the American corporate agenda, and the lack of opportunity. All the while another group, the Egyptian military, is being well-fed. Who wins in this scenario?
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Code Word Infrastructure and Visions of CataclysmWe've created an insatiable monster. The intellectual property of which, seemingly mine own, in constant battle with the top crop and reaping rewards of cream.
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Face Washing Dont'sRemoving dead skin cells can make your skin less dull but you should not overdo it or you will injure your skin.
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Welcome to Eternal Detention HallInternational corporatism is like one big adolescent detention hall. Question compliance. Maybe mix in a litter resistance, of the non-violent variety, of course.
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Perfect Strike is Death Knell to Batting AveragePositive visualization, repetition, and this golden rule: hit the ball where its pitched.
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The Proper Mental Attitude at the PlateGood hitters have the desire to make good contact at the plate. Good hitters enjoy the feeling of a solid smash reverberating through their hands, their hearts. They earn this good feeling through hard work.
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Freedom Goes by Wayside in Land of FreeWhen a country's largest and most profitable service industry derives from disaster or trauma, markets simply must be stirred up to stoke the fires of demand.
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Seasons Greetings: Better Grab Your GunThis is what REAL change is all about. Our momentum is uncompromising. We're going to be pecking away, guaranteed. And we have the numbers. I like our chances!
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Assange, Wikileaks Invites U.S. Elite to Festive Pain PartyThe system is an indomitable, inbred and corrupt machine more similar to oligarchy than democracy. It's been hell for the rest of us for quite awhile and now the elite get to join in on our collective pain party.
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In Chicago, a Rally to Preserve InanityWe were missing a huge and well thought out extravaganza with lots of committed social satirists rocking out and instead we got a very predictable cycle of Chicago-style gratuity and self congratulation that was disheartening and pathetic.
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Actually Seeing RedShe tells her gay Asian neighbor the news. Says the street is now the furthest thing from her mind. But her neighbor warns that he sees a coffin in her future
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Be Your Own Ballplayer: a ReviewStay within yourself and employ good fundamentals. Enjoy the feeling of the ball hitting your bat! You are up at the plate for a reason: to get on base by hitting the ball. Appreciate the simplicity and beauty of the task.
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On the Can Pretending I'm JimIt's more efficient to work together, right? Think of the breadth of topics we could have covered, letting the time slip away like old friends. I just wonder how long it would have taken for the man to realize that I was, in fact, not Jim.
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Nicotine Gum: Don't Leave Home Without ItIt would take an Oscar performance and I would have to remember to breathe deep and often to avoid instinctively eliminating my colleagues (the insipid ones, in any case).
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The Final Run of Number SevenHey bro, come over here and check out my El Camino. Hey bro, he started again, patting the hump in a canvas sack. Come over here and say 'Hello' to my pit bull ...
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Mancuso's Lesson: Choose Your BattlesWisely pick and choose your battles. You can't be all in a huff all of the time, for Christ's sake. Just don't expect to win every battle with the house stacked against you.
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Pitchers and Catchers Report: Now We BeginThe desired outcome of an at-bat is to hit a hard line-drive somewhere where they ain't and to reach base safely. No other thoughts should predominate your mind. Good, fundamental hitting takes immense focus.
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Lubrication Key to Well-Oiled MachineDid you know that 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm, either by themselves or with a partner? Many women are not sure how to go about getting what they want in the bedroom. Here are tips to get you started.
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Icarus Had February BluesThose who attempt to reach beyond their station often get burned and fall out of the sky. Beware of false promises.
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The Psychology Behind an Old Baseball ClichéDuring spring training, even professionals will be stressing the importance of fundamentals. What better time than to get back to basics.
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Mayor Moves to Ban Male BurqaThe Mayor and other opponents of the male burqa site male liberation, re-establishment of the patriarchy and equal rights as crucial reasons for supporting the ban.
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Greed-Mongering Spreads like DiseaseTrauma far and wide creates opportunity for the wealthy 1% to swoop in and capitalize on any unnerving situation. Yes, many of us 99% die off. But this is only an unfortunate byproduct of doing business.
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What is Better, Pills or Exercises?Pills and exercises can definitely increase penis size; if only because your stomach will no longer remain bloated.
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Don't Be a Fool, FoolRely on nobody but yourself to apply good baseball fundamentals.
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Life is Just a Dream: Or, the Masked ManA strange dream infiltrates your imagination seemingly out of nowhere. How does it affect your every day life?
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Uncle Sam Cereal with Real Mixed BerriesBack in the old days there were a number of cereals our parents hoped blindly had a semblance of nutritional value that us kids loved for the sugar content.
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Black Friday and American CheeseLook in the mirror: The less control you have over yourself, the more control you give over to others.
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The Age of LethalityTo quote playwright, Murray Mednick: "Where are we all headed?"
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Devoted to Romantic NaivetéShe had told me we couldn't marry because of race. Naively, I hadn't even thought of either: marriage or race. She planned to stay in Hollywood. With her breeding, success was her only option.
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Neighborhood Gang Goes Au NaturelStevie was an eager minion proving his worthiness to his neighborhood gang. There wasn't anything dirty or sexual about going au naturel. He went au naturel of his own volition.
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Yoko Noge: Mama, He Treats Your Daughter MeanA mellow Sunday morning in Grant Park, Jackson Stage, with Yoko Noge: "Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean" recorded September 6, 2009. -
Bad Conduct is Good for BusinessWe can analyze and translate any behavior into a lucrative opportunity: the business of conducting sport, the business of producing news.
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The Lure of the RingCarl Jung believed that we all have opposite gender aspects within our personalities and that to recognize and accept this promotes mental and emotional balance.
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Strange and Violent Hwy 41 DreamPremonitory dream of Brett Favre's return to the NFL as quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings: and waking up to mistrustful, stoned and inebriated Lambeau Field fans.
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Swing Rebar for Good Wrist ActionCocking your bat means the slight natural backward motion of the bat at the start of your swing. The wrists help to coordinate the swing based on the location of the pitch.
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Mornings Can Be BrutalSpringtime in Chicago is an extension of winter; birds don't like to hatch their eggs in bitter cold. Young chicks learn to chirp and test their wings in mid-July.
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Rained-Out: CHI 4th of July Bar-B-QueWe got a party pack of Abita Beer. The sky fell out and everything was shining silver. "We'll have to get a couple of these in the freezer first thing."
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Baseball and Life: It's SimpleYou may not have a solution readily available at every curve ball life throws your way, but that's no reason to flame out and do something rotten and lead authorities on a wild goose chase until they catch you and put you in a cage where you belong.
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Chicago Metra TrainsShot from the Nichols Bridgeway, a 625-foot pedestrian bridge that was designed by Pritzker Prize-winning Modern Wing architect Renzo Piano; in black and white. -
Tranquilo: Swing EasyWatch a hitter's body and head: is his body leaning out in front, anticipating the pitch? Is his head bailing and his foot in the bucket? Are his eyes on the ball or not? There is only one objective: watch the ball hit the bat.
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Plushenko Vs Lysacek: Blowhard Vs Work-HardEvgeni Plushenko's choreography was a mix of mockery of the other skaters' choreography and something resembling a Chippendales routine without the buff body one assumes should accompany the exhibitionist impulse.
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Four City Blocks to Wind a WatchYou can read it on the faces of women and men alike: folks would rather be doing something else, something more pleasurable than humping it in this work-a-day world.
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Images of Beloved PeruTwenty-five random black & white images of Peru in slide show format: Arequipa, Cuzco, Machu Picchu. Please enjoy. -
Demise of the VaingloriousAnd if Jesus be your guide then you can look to your prophet and understand the propagation of your money-grubbing and strong-armed, violent tactics fall way short of his example.
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Far from the Front, a Memorable DayOn to the next stop on this bountiful Memorial Day; mindful or not of the lowest common denominator of opportunity. Makes you wonder what all the fighting was for.
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Rim-Ramming, Game for the AgesOur modernized and inherent societal obsession with categorizing and analyzing and accounting for every and all things robs us of much-needed fun.
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No Place like Home for the OlympicsChicago: a great place to bobsled! If only we had a hill or two.
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Notes from Where the President is FromTo the general citizenry of Chicago: it is one thing to claim a President, quite another to do the right thing.
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Fort Pierce, FL Woman Goes Nuggnuts on 911Franchise unknowingly runs out of stock on frozen bags of beak-meat goodness.
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Bag Lady: Consciousness or Condesension?People pay good money for just this type of unconsciousness.
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The Squeeze is On: 1% Vs 99%Reduce your anxiety in healthy ways. Hold your head high, carry yourself with authority and never let them bend you over.
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Juiced and Ever Ready for Wet PasteSwinging harder does not mean hitter farther. Just because everyone is on steroids doesn't mean you have to be, too.
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Castration Threats and the Case for Legalized ProstitutionAn active sex life enhances the immune system; wards off incontinence.
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Remember, There is Only One Pete RoseHere's a secret: focus on hitting the top of the baseball.
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Busy-ness Symptom of Deficient VitalityIn the modern day and age, the burden is on us all to create a less boring life.
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Lick Your Breast DefiantlySay "No!" to the status quo, to conventional thinking, to bad television and bad institutions.
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NHL Winter Classic Lacking Crucial ElementSnow making machines make it possible to play hockey outside when natural snow and ice is unavailable.
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Evil Debt Transforms Life into Living HellHypnotized by the incessant lure of the advertiser's con game, we fall into the debt-trap.
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Chuck E. Cheese's Edges Rod Blagojevich for Prestigious AwardAnd the winner is ...
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Big Easy Packers, Panic?The Packers fall below .500 in 2nd half debacle; Superdome, New Orleans, LA.
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A Swinger Needs a Good SwingThere's no off-season in baseball, and there's no off-season to studying and applying good baseball fundamentals.
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Step, Hips, HandsTreat it like a dance step and repeat over and over again.
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The Indispensable Nature of Theatrical FactEveryone strives for theatrical fact or truth in the theater; only the exceptional, like Harold Pinter, prove capable of executing the standard.
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Halloween's FaultWhy you gettin' on Halloween, Reverend?
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How-To Fundamentals of a Good Batting StanceBe excited to know that your batting stance is inevitably unique, no matter how similar it may be to another batter.
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Consistent Positioning in the Batter's BoxStrive for a position within the batter's box that gives you the best plate coverage with your swing, i.e. where the bat head covers the outside of the plate, yet allows for you to turn quickly on an inside pitch.
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Nice Work If You Have the Accoutrement'sIt certainly is easy to get around...though, getting to work is proving to be quite a different story.
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How to Grip a Baseball BatBeware of squeezing the bat so tightly you are accused of squeezing blood from a bone or the guts from a snake. This means you may be on the wrong track with your grip.
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Put a Claim on Your Favorite Baseball BatIn choosing a bat, learn from a professional, but don't necessarily copy him outright. A professional likely uses at least a 34 or 35 ounce bat -- probably too heavy for an amateur ball player.
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Miracle on State Street, ChicagoMacy's elimination of The Cozy Club Cottage; a maneuver to dissociate itself from the history of Marshall Field's.
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Fitness Pro's Pledge Vs. InaptitudeTo quote Edward Albee, "If parody isn't a diminishment, well then, was it worth it in the first place?".
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The U.S. Economy: Bunnies and Bad BatteriesChina manufactures everything for everyone -- a role the United States used to play.
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Packers Pay for Intolerable Acts Vs FavreGreen Bay Packer brass decision-making behind the Brett Favre trade to the New York Jets before the 2008 NFL season.
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The Solstice in All Its GrandeurAs Oscar Wilde once said, "It is not life that is short. It is youth."
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Images of Saint Louis Cemetery, New OrleansFourteen black & white photographs taken at St. Louis Cemetery in New Orleans, Louisiana (resting place of Marie Laveau). Please enjoy. -
De-Coding the Design of Desire"We always want what we don't have" programs our behavior. The top of our list? Sex.
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Oo Ye Yi! Cold Night in Titletown, USAOn the retirement of Brett Favre from The Green Bay Packers.
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St. Valentine's Day and Where We're AtAs a society we remain speechless in our horror, dumbfounded in how to combat our bloody history.
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Chilly Night for Rahmer After SuperBowl UpsetReview of New York Giants upset of New England Patriots in SuperBowl XLII.
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Apathy Begets Obesity; Leads Us to SlaughterCertainly we see this example of oppression and censorship through our own western eyes. Our concern in the United States is mainly centered on cheap Chinese products and creating a world much like our own country.
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Aphrodisiacs: The Libido EnhancersThe enhancement of your libido is within reach.
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Holiday Cheer from the Lower-Lower Middle ClassDo odd jobs nobody wants. Claim to come from a high pedigree. Live life full of passion. Deny the consequences. Repeat.
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Mall Shootings and Aggressive AdministrationsOnce upon a time the act of killing defied the Fifth Commandment. Now we have killers carrying out broad, violent action in God's name. Ronald Reagan and Milton Friedman would be proud.
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Yoko Noge: Blues After HoursRecording of Yoko Noge playing "Blues After Hours" at the Chicago Jazz Festival on September 6, 2009. Location: Jackson Stage. -
For Auld Lang Syne: Headlines of DeathBe thankful none of the recent headlines of death include you.
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Alumni Group Regresses, Turns to High-Pressure TrickeryHigh school alumni administration receives unplanned contribution in writing.
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The Tree and the Axetry me as you wish. / we'll see who wins.
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Bats Silent, Cubs '07 Season is HistoryThe Chicago north-side continues to be a cursed place.
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Pooh-Pooh the Exotic at Your Own PerilPeople who pooh-pooh the exotic, the sensual, the erotic, or the sexual aspects of existence, are most likely to exhibit deviant behavior. Prudes would have you believe it was the other way around.
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Butt in Gait Evidence of Online UsageWhat are you really doing when "working at the computer"? You're sitting. In some cases for hours-at-a-time. If you're like millions of U.S. Internet junkies surfing for beautiful ass, the irony is palpable.
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Ben Paterson Plays "Dat Dere" at Chicago Jazz FestivalRecording of Ben Paterson playing "Dat Dere" originally composed by Bobby Timmons. Location: Jackson Stage, Chicago Jazz Festival -- September 6, 2009. -
Bike Traffic Altercation Carries Threat of Law"Where are you coming from? Your car?" I asked, noticing the large billy club of a key-chain she dallied in front of her.
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Victory in the Face of DefeatWe were certain of this: Aaron and Ruth are safe in this part of the country. Barry Bonds is no home run king in this town -- not in Chicago -- no sir.
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Nescafe, Rock 'N' Roll Iced Coffee RecipeBack in the 1950s, Nescafe caught on big in America. Young folks spent time in coffee houses, read poetry by The Beats and discovered Rock 'N' Roll (among a few other things).
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Max's Sweet Tea RecipeThis sweet tea recipe will quench your thirst, cool you off and put a spring in your giddy-up.
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Comeuppance a Chicago Sportswriting TraditionChicago sportswriters eagerly lay waste to the land like vultures with a vendetta, safeguarding the mad creation of the circus environment like angry pit bulls.
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Cat Booty and the Smell of a New WorldNever forget the proficient athleticism and artistry demonstrated by your feline friend: maintain your curiosity, say "yes" to creativity. Then take your lover in the same spirit!
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Culture of Fear Comment of the DayWithin minutes of turning on Chicago Public Radio, WBEZ, Lisa Labuz warned commuters, "Watch out for those extra bikers..." If you bike in any U.S. city, you understand the intrinsic prejudice and danger behind this articulation of propaganda.
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Life's Pace ConstipatesIf you give in and submit to a schedule of brunches, power lunches and business dinners you will find you are constipated. Once you're done eating you will feel a sense of shame. After all, you should have been working instead of eating, right?
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Live Birds Eat Fried Birds at Local KFC"To the victor belong the spoils." -- William L. Marcy
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Maiden Sand Wrestling at North Ave BeachThe girls laughed, sweat all bronze in their crust of sand. They put on a lengthy show of maiden sand wrestling! What a pleasant time to watch these beautiful young ladies enjoy themselves.
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Gino's East: Great Place to Scarf Down Some 'ZzaThe manager pulled out my scarf from underneath the cash register and handed it to me over the counter with a wink. Gino's East had the scarf. I am very thankful.
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Second City to Second CityWith the beautiful Santiago Calatrava-designed addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum and a competent collection of art, museum management must step it up a level. Every business goes through periods of readjustment.
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NOLA, the Big Apple, and the City that WorksWhen I tell my New Orleans friend that Chicago's slogan is: "The City That Works" he almost chokes with laughter. "No! You can't be serious!" he shouts, laughing spasmodically.
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Urban Roots ChicagoI'd just had a major overhaul done on my style. The folks at Urban Roots were extraordinarily polite and professional. I felt more like I belonged at Urban Roots than at any salon I've ever been in. Now that's great service!
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Homemade Buttered Popcorn RecipeFor popcorn fluffy and flowery, not small and hard. Now put on a good movie and share your delicious treat. Once you've finished your popcorn I bet you'll wish you had more!
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Asian RootsIn Chicago, it is the Asian Women and Men who have the best haircuts: "Nudy" and "Pop" and "Spicy" and "Sweet".
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Ed Gein's Nephew"This is Ed Gein's nephew!" We shook hands as he turned his predatory visage to me, tiki torches reflecting in his glasses.
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Friendship EntrappedInvariably, the bad apple exposes himself and takes the bait. He receives a permanent record, if not prison time.
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David Copperfield Cures Winter BluesEven the expectation of renewed vigor from an afternoon walk in the slim hours of sunshine leaves one achy and tired as if the sun required the blood from one's own veins to light its lamp.
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Marbles: A Way to Test Your MettleA lot of scrutiny went into the marbles you put on the line. Confrontation was not uncommon. "You think I'm playing for that crap, you're crazy! That's junk!" Your marbles had to be desired marbles, good marbles.
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Theatre: the Collective ArtThe problem with achieving this powerful whole is in agreement. How do individuals agree on interpretation to the degree that there results a single entity however pliable, multi layered, discordant?
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Thoughts on the Hanging of Saddam HusseinNone of us fear our own demise so much as we fear having to live in constant pain. And what of our own, we ask.
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Reality Valentine's DayNo kitsch, no superficiality here. Poetic reality, and an exchange of love despite all.
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Killer TiffRomantic living leads to excitement and danger. History instructs, it may be best to determine beforehand if you are committed to the intense responsibility of the Romantic.
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Neverland when Mercy FellEmotions run high; confusion reigns. Torment starts from within.
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ImpermanenceThoughts and feelings are as finite as our own existence.
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A Mother's LossNo matter what form the separation takes place, psychologically it is very difficult for a mother to adjust.
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Psychic HealingCommunicate with loved ones in the beyond and reap healing vibrations.
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BlueIn love and worthless to the world, anxiety can suddenly erupt like a volcano. It is inconceivable to live without your true love.
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March DispersedA change of season can be deceptive. A late frost can make casualties of eager blossoms. It is all part of the great tragedy of springtime.
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Heart-Shaped for the HolidaysThe reverie of love; the freshness, the heightened hopelessness of falling in love; the tragedy of lost love: it shapes us all.
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Five Years: an Anniversary PoemComposed by Early Rahmer for his loving wife and best friend on the date of their fifth wedding anniversary.
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Hastened ThanksgivingDespite the verve of modern culture, traditional holidays still hold pizazz.
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Theatre: The Collective ArtThe American theater is playing catch-up on the global scene.
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Lahde Blesses America, Sets Standard HighTo bring home the bacon entails that we daily go to the slaughterhouse. Reflections on Andrew Lahde's hedge-fund success and subsequent retirement.
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Cursed Chicago Cubs is Eternal TruthNew owner? New players? It is official: 100 years of futility translates into another off-season of change for the Chicago Cubs.