George Marker
George is a writer set loose to ponder upon the glut of philoso-babbel pundit tom-knockery disco boogy-voogy clinging miasma of our media mind and unique time. To align the throws of our age for my fellow human and to make contact in that vast and misty field between you and I. And maybe a laugh.
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- 83
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- Contributor since
- 1/11/2007
Education/Experience
Bachelor of Fine Arts, Leningrad School of Fine Art 2005Interests
Social Anthropology, World Philosophy, Human Psychology, The Nature of Truth, The Role of Religion, The Drive for Freedom, The Need for Misery, The Exploits of Our Species, Not what we do, but why we do it, Not what we watch, and think and say, but whyMotto
How can you find no joy in this world so wide?Favorites
Displaying Results 1 - 83 (of 83) for All Content
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How Not to Get Mugged in College Part Two; Exploiting Your SituationFighting ability may save your life in the worst of situations, but speed, planning and cunning will help you to avoid a life or death situation altogether. -
Part Three of How Not to Get Mugged in College: How to Get AwayThis third part of How Not to Get Mugged aims at exploring the small rules and preconceptions that can hamper you in your escape, and how you can learn to dispose of them temporarily when it becomes necessary. -
How Not to Get Mugged in College, (Or Anywhere Else)If you happen to be going off to college at the bitter end of this fine summer, or are preparing to send your dear, beloved baby away to god-knows-where America, my experiences dodging lurkers, muggers, and tricksters may be helpful to you. -
Thy Myth of White CultureUnlike the African Americans of the last century, European Americans have never experienced a truly cohesive experience. Instead of one culture and people, Caucasian America is simply a loosely associated series of subcultures and non-cultures.
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How to Discipline Your CatCats are truly mysterious animals. Although they possess a smaller brain capacity than most dogs, they radiate a strange wisdom. In many ways they still retain their wild nature, and training a cat can be nearly impossible. They can however, be taught to behave civilly. -
How to Experience Lucid DreamingLucid dreaming is the experience of being consciously aware while inside a dream. Waking dreams can occur normally as a quirk of the sleep cycle, or they can be induced.
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The Case for a Cruel GodIn contemporary times, the idea of God has emerged as a wholly positive and loving entity. But the idea of our supreme spirit as wholly benevolent is not entirely logically waterproof, and has been arrived at by our peoples through a long and tumultuous battle. -
Tips on Writing for AC: Why a Positive Attitude Pays MoreIf you have written for Associated Content, you will have undoubtedly noticed a few trends in their value system. For instance, humor articles typically pay the least, while holidays, current events, and celebrity gossip fetch nearly twice as much.
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Hip Hop Goes J Pop: The Japanese Influence on Contemporary FashionWhere once a lumbering, stalwart "thug" would be covered by a large and infallibly American sports jersey, his body is now shrouded in bright, festive colors spaced playfully atop a clean white background. -
At Least We're Still Allowed to Make Fun of President BushSure, the government has been taken over by a reclusive and evasive group of mysterious weirdos. I'll give you that. But no matter how bad our international standing becomes, at least we can always make fun of George W. Bush.
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Why Islam is the World's Dullest ReligionIslam is the baby of the major world religions, born just over fourteen hundred years ago. The Muslim religion is not inherently violent, as many currently believe, it is however, dry as week old toast.
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Our Shaved Future: The Hairless GenerationDisclaimer: This article is about body hair, and the lack thereof. If the human body-parts that grow hair are offensive to you, than this article may be as well.
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Dealing with Compulsive Liarsgggggggg
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If Everyone Ignores Paris Hilton Maybe She'll Go AwayThe Associated Press recently held a glorious yet doomed Paris Hilton news blackout. Unfortunately, as many would expect, the AP news blackout generated a frenzy amongst the journalist communities of the world. Is there any way to get rid of her? -
My Open Letter to the Christian Nation: Give Me Back My Brother You Brain-Washing PsychopathsIt is a very negative act to argue for the irrelevance and illegitimacy of a philosophy. The point of this article is not to convince or convert anyone, but rather, to make a simple plea to this Christian Nation; Give me back my brother. -
Interview with the DevilPrince of Darkness, King of the Fallen Angels, Great Corrupter, The Father of All Lies, and many other clever descriptive titles have been bestowed on our guest today, the ubiquitous and mysterious former celestial second in command himself, The Devil. -
Why I Miss "The West Wing"Aaron Sorkin's The West Wing was more than a fanciful television dramatization of a little understood government office. As a young Democratic campaign activist once put it, "West Wing is the hour when everyone pretends we have a democrat for president." -
Down and Out in Cleveland: Living Poor in America's Poorest CityCleveland was ranked number one in the Nation for poverty last year, sending enlarged, soul-crushing headlines streaming from the local city news sources. What's it like living in America's poorest city? -
Never Buy Chinese CigarettesForeign cigarettes are nifty and fun, but before you go off buying anything from Asia, listen to this terrible story. -
Penguins Teach Us How to Be Human in March of the PenguinsIt's easy to understand the initial fascination with emperor penguins, they look essentially like little bird-people. But a closer look at the impressive sea-bird reveals even deeper similarities to our own lives and emotions. -
F for Fake: The Last Film of Orson WellesF for Fake is not a romantic date movie, or a film to be watched half heartedly or while sleepy. F for Fake is a portal into charlatanism, fakery, and the great larcenist who was Orson Welles. -
Why It's Okay for Carlos Mencia to Steal Jokes: Comedy and the Tradition of AppropriationA small storm has been raging in the comedy world after the Feb. 10th incident between Joe Rogan of NBC's Fear Factor and comedian Carlos Mencia. This type of tumult is nothing new in an industry that operates virtually beyond the protection of copyright laws. -
God's Forgotten WifeThis article is not about the beloved director turned religious provocateur, James Cameron's controversial new film about the hypothesized tomb of Jesus, this article is about the secret and long forgotten ex-wife of the elder of the Holy Trinity, God the Father.
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Ann Coulter Eaten Alive by Jackals as Crowd ApplaudsResidents of Washington D.C. were treated yesterday to the final performance of conservative pundit Ann Coulter, as a group a vicious, rabid jackals tore the equally viscous and rabid blond limb from limb in the streets of our nations capitol.
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Tom Cruise Has a Banana in His Ear; Spinach is Golden; And Other Things You Wouldn't Ever GuessI want to talk to you about spinach, because spinach is green. But what is green? I s green the color of a leprechauns' jockey strap, or is green the bleedy blood of American dreams?
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TheTruth: Anti-Smoking Ads Make Me Want to Smoke MoreNothing fills me with the need for a long, smooth drag of a cigarette like watching several thousand teenagers play dead in front of a corporate tobacco office. What the kazark is wrong with this "Millennial generation?"
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Michael Jackson to Add Child Molesting, Cross Dressing to List of Muslim StereotypesWhat do you do when your back is against the wall and even hundreds of millions of dollars and a lifetime of international god-like fame can't save you from your own reputation? Apparently, for Michael Jackson, the answer lies in the words of the Prophet Muhammad.
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How to Mix New Colors with Sculpey and Other Polymer ClaysWhile Sculpey carries hundreds of shades, it can become expensive to aquire a large selection of pre-produced colors. Sculpey can be mixed, much like paint, to produce new shades and hues.
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Never Give Up on a Lost CatCats are brilliant and troublesome creatures. Losing your beloved furball can be a heart-wrenching experience, but never give up hope on your cat.
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Will Talking Urinals Save Lives?New Mexico is hoping that drunk drivers who won't listen to friends, loved ones, bartenders, or common sense, will listen to a talking urinal cake.
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Does Britney's Chrome Dome Mean She's a Buddhist or a Neo-nazi?Representatives of Spears are denying any connection between the chrome dome and an affiliation with any religion or group, but that has not stopped a flurry of speculation.
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America's Fear of a Military DraftThere is a sense of fear spreading throughout the American People. With the situation in Iraq growing consistently worse, and the increasing recognition of open hostility from neighboring countries, many have begun to hypothesize a coming military Draft.
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This Pirate Thing Has Gone Too FarAre set on course for a new wave of historical fashion revivals? Maybe next Johnny Depp will enthrall the public with a Roman epic, resulting in three consecutive years of girls wandering the streets wrapped in bed-linen.
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The Seven Deadly Sins of Marijuana UseIt's only a plant, right? So why go to jail for it. Here are seven tips on how you can stay out of trouble while staying high.
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Film Review - Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in IndiaIf you've never seen a Bollywood movie, or have never believed that a three day cricket match could move you to tears, then you must see Lagaan.
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Good to Be Bad: Ghost Rider and Hollywood's Confusing Sense of SpiritualityLet's start by saying that it's only a comic book movie, and that it is fun. Ghost Rider is however, possibly the most confusing retelling of Judeo-Christian Hell mythology.
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U.S. Executes Terrorist SquirrelAnimal rights activists and squirrels alike are expressing outrage today, after a New York squirrel who grounded an American Airlines Flight was put to death.
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How to Make a Decorative Japanese Sake BottleA Japanese decorative sake bottle is an easy and beautiful ceramics project for beginners.
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How to Make a Stop-Motion (Claymation) Movie: A Beginners GuideMaking a Claymation or stop-motion animation is easier than you think. Whether you dream of one day unleashing your animated madness on the world, or you're just looking for an extremely time consuming hobby, an introduction to stop motion animation could be for you.
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Bush Sees British Troop Un-Surge as "Sign of Success"The White House is offering a bafflingly optimistic vantage point following the announcement of the withdraw of 1,600 British Troops, over one fifth of their current Iraq based forces.
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The Origins of "Yo Momma"Of all the African American contributions to our larger modern culture, "Yo Momma" might just be the least understood, discover the traditional African roots of the modern insult battle.
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The Reasons for Racism and the Struggle Against ItBlack history month is a time for celebration of African American culture and contributions, but it is also a time to reflect on the tumultuous and often terrifying history of the African American journey. Is racism a natural human instinct?
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Ash Wednesday, or as I like to Call It: Depressing Dirty Forehead DayIt's that time of year again. Winter has reached its cruel zenith; men everywhere mourn the loss of football and the upcoming romantic death-trap, Valentines Day, and suddenly, as if from outer space, come the dirty forehead people.
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The Return of Manly AdvertisingTestosterone is cool again. Are we in the midst of a Manly revolution? The answer is probably not. But something does seem to be happening in the American unconscious.
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How to Help Control the Stray Cat Population with Trap, Neuter and ReleaseThere are an estimated twenty to forty million stray cats living in the United States. If you are a cat lover or a person with a feral cat problem in your life, TNR could be the solution you've been looking for.
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How to Lose Friends and Alienate PeopleMaybe you're overwhelmed by the needs of your friends and family, maybe you've just never really liked any of them. There are many reasons to isolate yourself socially and emotionally, and achieving this goal is much easier than you think.
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Smith and Brown Closer to Going in GroundCelebrity status and the resulting press coverage is a lifetime commitment, and apparently now an afterlife commitment as well.
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How to Make a Buddhist Mala (Rosary)Are you searching for a meaningful yet inexpensive gift for a discerning spiritualist in your life? If they're into Hinduism or Buddhism, then a mala might be just what they need.
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Piracy and Freedom: Is Hollywood Ignoring African Influence on the High Seas?Some researches estimate that up to one third of the pirates active in the early 1700's were escaped African slaves, is Hollywood ignoring the true color of America's new favorite history?
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China's Not Fooling Anyone with Spray-Painted MountainLaoshou Mountain, a once green and majestic presence on the Chinese horizon, has received a new green hue, albeit an unnatural and unhealthy one.
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Why Black History Month is Here to StayThere are many who take exception to the notion of a Black History Month. Is the socially constructed month a relic of our segregated past?
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The iBuzz: Feel the Music... In Your PantsThe iBuzz is exactly what you think it is, a personal vibrator designed to link to your iPod and vibrate in rhythm to the music.
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Hitting a Guy in the Head with a Rock was a Lot Less Funny Than it was in the Beer CommercialIf you're like me, you loved this year's Super Bowl commercials. Amongst the various achievements of comedy such as the suicidal robot arm, and the homoerotic mechanics, there was the perfect jewel of the Paper-Rock-Scissors bit.
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What It's Really like to Be Absurdly TallIt happens to me all the time. I'll be somewhere new and someone I've never met before walks directly up to me and with wide eyes says, "Wow! You're tall!"
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Elvira and Other Perfectly Good Names Ruined by Famous PeopleI got to thinking of all the names that you can't use on a baby anymore because of celebrities. Here's what I can come up with.
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The Case for Marijuana UseFor me, and for millions of other Americans, our safety blanket is marijuana. But is it for you?
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What Kind of Clay You Should Buy for Your KidsSo what kind of clay should you buy your own little Michelangelo? Here is a short review of the different types of clay available at most art stores and their suitability for children.
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Acid Casualties in My Life: The Dangers of LSDLSD is better than a movie, but is it worth your life?
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How to Rearrange Church Signboards for Fun and ProphetRe-messaging Church signboards is a fun and easy way to create excitement in your life, let me show you how.
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A Former Night Guard Describes His Experience at Cleveland's Haunted MuseumHave you ever wondered what it's really like to be trapped inside a living Museum at night? A former guards tells his tale.
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How to Steal a LighterI have a confession to make. I am a heartless lighter klepto. Here are the three simple steps to stealing a lighter.
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Learn a Truly Weird Dollar Bill TrickTired of dumb money folding gimmicks that only produce ubiquitous green blobs? Learn a trick that will impress your friends and reveal the Masonic history of our government.
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That Groundhog is a LiarI hate that Groundhog. I don't understand why he has to raise our hopes only to crush them with his cruel little rodent fists. You see, the bugger didn't see his shadow this year.
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How to Be a Great ArtistTalent is common, and yet greatness and the success that follows are still rare. Many have wondered and theorized on what makes artistic greatness. I trust a little old Cuban man on the subject.
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Chaos Butterfly Captured, Detained"We have struck a crucial blow in the fight against Chaotic Terrorism" Said President Bush earlier today. He followed with "I told ya' we'd get that butterfly, and we got 'em!"
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Why I Miss My FurbyFurby was more than just a toy. Hear one mans story of anticipation, love, and loss.
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How AC is Helping Me Live My Dream of Never Having a "Job" Ever AgainJobs are awfull. Read why one man may never have to go to one ever agin.
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Religion Without Belief: All Roads Lead to the Top of the MountainKnow that the purpose of these practices has always been to give people tools to deal with their lives. And because the human experience is universal, regardless of time period, wealth, or culture, all of them are still useful to you, today.
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My First Marijuana BookIt's Only a Plant begins when Jackie, the young heroine, is awakened in the night by a strange smell, and goes to find her parents smoking marijuana.
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Pain and Progress: An AC ExperimentIs this the golden age? Could we imagine a world more wrought with agony and violence? Can we truly swallow the idea of our history as a worse place than now?
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Global Warming is Just Earth's Way of Saying "Times Almost Up"In its five billion year lifetime, the planet Earth, has experienced over two thousand individual nuclear holocausts. These events spread over the sixty-three sentient, sapient species that have come and gone during our world's long memory.
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Everything on the Internet is Entirely TrueWhat do you mean you don't want to send your bank account number, social security number and home address to a Nigerian banker? Are you some kind of fool?
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The Battle for History MonthsBlack History Month is a celebration of African American heritage and culture. Are all ethnic groups deserving of this attention?
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How Not to Ruin Valentine's DayA mistake on Valentines Day is a tragedy for men, projecting waves of consequence years into the future, and insuring an immediate and possibly prolonged sex drought. Here are three basic rules to not blowing Valentines Day.
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Man Charged for Botched Suicide AttemptA personal sorrow became a public disaster in November, when a man blew up his house and wrecked his neighborhood.
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Humane Society Uncovers Dog Fur ScamAn official press conference by the Humane Society Wednesday furthers the embarrassment of designers and clothing stores.
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Hillary Clinton to Ruin EverythingCan't we go for the easy win? I feel strange about saying this, but don't the Democrats have any decent white men left?
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My Cell Phone Can Get Me a BeerAnd then because it's never enough, they say "But I can check my stock ticker on my phone and make real time trades and earn a living on the go." So. While you were saying that my cell phone stole your wallet.
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Cleveland Moves Bravely Foreward into Life After Jurgen FaustIn 1999, University Circle was a much quieter place and The Institute of Art was edging on anachronism, lacking even a basic Digital Arts department.
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Why War is Better Than SportsI am assured in my manliness by my new hobby, watching war. Now there is a real competition. In fact, war was the basis for all forms of sports. Why diddle around with all kinds of namby-pamby rules and safety precautions?
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The Slave Who was Truly FreeWe are all slaves, but that does not mean that we cannot be free. Most of us are in economic bondage. Real, and complete. Do you love your job? Is how you make money what you've always wanted to do?
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Robert Anton Wilson, Author, Cult Figure, Dies at 74Acclaimed novelist Robert Anton Wilson died this past Thursday at his home in Monterey, California, from complications of Post-Polio syndrome. He passed away early in the morning, surrounded by friends and family.