Jason Love
Jason Love syndicates a weekly humor column, "So It Goes," and a daily cartoon called "Snapshots."
"So It Goes" recently won an award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, second place in humor to W. Bruce Cameron, best-selling author of "Eight Simple Rules f
Read More »
"So It Goes" recently won an award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, second place in humor to W. Bruce Cameron, best-selling author of "Eight Simple Rules f
...
- Page Views
- 49,791
- Content
- 78
- Fans
- 23
- Contributor since
- 1/19/2007
Education/Experience
UC Santa Cruz, EnglishInterests
Performing standup comedy.Affiliations
National Society of Newspaper ColumnistsFavorites
None yet.
Displaying Results 1 - 78 (of 78) for Yahoo! Voices
-
Tennis LessonsSo while I teach Yahaira the ropes -- er, net -- I take pains to be gentle. She is, after all, wielding a racquet. -
SkydivingAt Taft Skydive, it was literally raining men. They reminded me of the G.I. Marine Force Paratrooper that I owned as a kid. His chute would open about half the time, a percentage that seemed suddenly unacceptable. -
Standup Comedy: Jason Love at the Ice HouseWith this performance, Jason Love advances to the next round of Uncle Clyde's Comedy Contest at the Ice House in Pasadena, California. -
BingoI wondered why the woman beside me had shown up in curlers. Did bingo catch her unawares? I mean, at that point you may as well carry a toothbrush. -
Televisions"One day you'll go to leave a room and the TV will stand up tall like Julius Caesar and say, 'Don't you give your back to ME!'"
-
Dominican Republic"There was no time to sightsee, though, because I was having a near-death experience called Driving in the DR. I'm just saying that the country could benefit greatly from painting lines on the road..."
-
PopulationRemember the show "Eight Is Enough"? Eight children is not enough; it's way too friggen many. I live by a dock where every day new cars, still in their wrapper, drive off the boat and into gridlock. That's their first experience in the U.S. -
MetrosexualI used to be so normal. I spat and surfed and used dirty socks for oven mitts. Now when I vacuum, I back out slowly so as not to disturb the carpet triangles. When buddies use the bathroom, I say, "You didn't pee standing up, did you? It splashes."
-
Dog LickersMax weighs five pounds -- half a bowling ball -- but barks like he's been dipped in the river Styx. He chases passers-by with the illusion that somehow, someway, he will finally render them extinct. -
Fire Drill"Captain Phil waved me over to House Three. I looked around to make sure he wasn't crazy. Yes, he nodded, come on up. Did I mention that the house next-door was on fire?..."
-
Standup Comedy: Live TV TapingBest-of collection of comics, including Jason Love.
-
KitesurfingI myself am not a fan of the wind. To me, wind means fussing with your hair or chasing down papers or that you're in Chicago. Wind stripped the leaves from my patio plant: It killed an artificial tree! -
DatingI'm not cut out for dating anyway. I was married so long that now I'm like an animal raised in captivity -- unfit for the wild. Do you still show up with a corsage? -
Artsy MomOn Thanksgiving we sit down to pumpkin-shaped name cards and a brick of homemade fudge. When Mom says it's from scratch, she means growing the flour, churning the butter, personally laying the eggs...
-
Ad Hell"Thank you for calling the I've-Been-Scammed Hotline. The cost of this call is ten dollars a minute. A specialist will be with you in a while." -
Pneumonia: The Gift that Keeps on Giving"People spend so much time fighting colds. If we're not bouncing back, we're trying to "feel ourselves" again. I was raised to not feel myself, but the point is ..." -
Baseball BuddyWe plan to see a game in person someday. It won't matter who's playing; we'll be talking grass stains, cup sizes, why they call it a "strike" when a batter misses the ball...
-
Seagulls"A seagull's opinion of you is based largely on whether you're holding food, which includes bread, items that look like bread, and small, bread-like pets..." -
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: One-Liners"Why is milk four bucks a gallon? Does the President have stock in that too?"
-
My Cat SamMy Sam likes to sniff his butt -- and you would too if you could -- but when he looks up, he's got this crazed expression like he's sniffing a totally different kind of crack. I asked a local vet what it meant and he said, "How should I know? I fought in a war."
-
My Audition for Last Comic StandingWhen "Last Comic" held auditions in Tempe, the men's bathroom flooded with comedian discharge (40% alcohol by volume). I have it on good authority that the toilet actually devoured a local ventriloquist. The last thing he heard was, "Feeed me, Seymour." -
Sleeping & Alarm Clock Nightmares"Alarm, n. 1. Sudden fear caused by the portent of danger. 2. The first thing we hear every ... single ... morning. For my birthday I got an alarm clock that sings, "Waking up is hard to do." As if we didn't have reason enough to hate Neil Sedaka..."
-
Diary of a Plant KillerYou can almost hear the violets gossip at night: "Can you believe he left Sylvia for dead in the planter? Talk about bad feng shui. Hey, did you fart? It smells beautiful."
-
Reflections on Marriage"I was married for almost 13 years. Not all to the same woman, but the point is that before rushing into marriage you should consider some kind of formal training. I recommend a degree in abnormal psychology..."
-
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: Getting a Cat"So I went down and bought some of that 'no chew' spray, which makes the plants taste bad. And the side of the container read, 'Does not cause stinging like other leading products.' And I thought, No, I want stinging. I want stinging and burning ... I want to see smoke coming out of his ears. Chew o
-
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: One Liners"Does the remote control go inside the dinner knife or outside the soup spoon?..."
-
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: On Being the White Guy"I moved to Oxnard a few years ago, and man, I miss ... English."
-
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: On Dating" I think we're all crazy in our own way. So I'm not looking for somebody who has no baggage; I'm looking for somebody with matching baggage..."
-
Standup Comedy by Jason Love: Sports"And yes, we call it a walk even the batter jogs to first base and becomes a runner..."
-
Poison Oak"I had never been a Boy Scout. If Dad wanted to show me the outdoors, he had to strap a TV to his back. So when I found a tree whose branch formed a perfect toilet, I didn't consider that it might be crawling with poison oak ..." -
Diet FoodWhen did we all go to food prison anyway? Special K wants us to pinch ourselves, and Grape Nuts' new motto is, "Why diet hungry?" (to replace their old motto, "Why eat gravel?") -
Brazilian Bikini Wax: Where No Man Has Gone Before - For Good Reason"It's a little-known fact that the person who coined the phrase "mind over matter" died of a Brazilian bikini wax. I've endured broken bones, carpentry stabbings, a bee sting that made my lip look like Meg Ryan's -- none of it prepared me." -
Homeless at AirportJason Love gets stuck in Philadelphia without I.D., without money, without social skills. -
Gridlock"I merged into traffic so hairy that people were actually backing off the freeway. And while I myself suffer from gridlock claustrophobia, once you're physically on the freeway ... that's pretty much a done deal. Do not pass Go; do not collect $200." -
Brazilian Bikini WaxSyndicated columnist Jason Love clear-cuts Alabama and Georgia with a Brazilian Bikini Wax. -
L.A. Auto ShowSyndicated humorist Jason Love takes on the L.A. Auto Show. -
Beach Sand And How to Avoid It"Children may as well play frisbee in a giant ash tray. DRESSED IN THEIR UNDERWEAR!..." -
Retaking the SATsHumor columnist Jason Love retakes the SATs and revisits old teachers. -
Pet Toys for the AgesJason Love reviews cutting-edge pet products, including a canine tooth brush, which Jason samples on his own teeth. -
BoxingJason Love steps into the ring with a 56-and-0 Junior Golden Gloves champion. -
SpanglishSyndicated humor writer Jason Love shares the ins and outs of interracial marriage and speaking two languages at the same time. "It's like when you listen to a song on the radio but keep getting that interference from the Spanish station..." -
Comedy ClubSyndicated humor writer Jason Love talks to veteran club owner Keith Dion about what it takes to keep a comedy club alive. "It's like running a marathon, only instead of people handing you Gatorade, you occasionally get hit by a 2X4." -
Speed Dating - Five Minutes to Screen the PsychosIf dating is a like a job interview that lasts all night, then speed dating is like a job fair. You've got five minutes to cover your resume. "Yes, I was with Tracy from April to July ... Why did we break up? ... I'm afraid she was downsizing..." -
Cheapskates"Slow down before you fall and crack your skull. You know how much that would cost?" -
Spitting"Ladies: Men spit. It's a biologically encoded function like puberty and celebrity drug addiction..." -
Campfire Story"Remember that woman's eyes when we asked about security?... What about the open gate?... Do you suppose Velma and Scooby are okay?" -
Special OccasionsTo defend against Gift Guilt, I now carry presents in my car. Maybe that's how Santa got started -- toting gifts around until he finally said, "To hell with it. There will be one day a year when everyone gets a present ... if they're good." -
Sperm Count - When You May Be Firing BlanksCan you see the poor doctor over the microscope? "1,634... 1,635... wait, did I count that one?" -
Complaining and a Bracelet to Stop ItEven our love life suffered my grousing. During sex I would always start in: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" -
Baseball - an Idiot's Overview"Why do they call it a strike when the batter swings at the ball and misses?" -
Sperm CountMy wife and I are shooting for a baby. Only problem is that I am shooting blanks..." -
Paintball - Can't We All Just Get Along?"We charged forth like Children of the Corn shooting everything but the lizards, Montague versus Capulet, Hatfield and McCoy. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. Oh, the humanity!" -
Super Bowl, or is it So-So Bowl?"The pregame show begins three weeks before kickoff, when neckless men begin diagramming plays..." -
Tattoo Removal - Fourteen Months of Buyer's Remorse"Month 5: Tattoo taking on moth-eaten appearance. Should disappear by the time I'm 652..." -
You Know You're Getting Old When"The wrinkles on my forehead have gotten so bad that pug dogs feel sorry for me." -
Hunting for Something that Costs a Dollar at McDonalds"I didn't actually, officially catch any fish, but I did avoid falling into the ocean, which is more than anyone expected." -
Tarot Cards - The Beginner's View"Gimme a question," said Yahaira. "Any question." "Okay: Who are you and what have you done with my real wife?" -
In a Perfect World"Football games would never end on a field goal... Boot would rhyme with foot ... O.J. Simpson would have married Lorena Bobbitt..." -
Fashion and a Peril for Men"What we could really use is Garanimals for Men: Giraffe tops with giraffe bottoms, lion belts with lion shoes..." -
"Free Cat"Costs include, among other things: box, litter, scooper, liner, cover, filters, designated dust-vac; wet food, dry food, nibble treats, bowls, and specially formulated kitten milk... -
Tatsu, the Flying CoasterHumor columnist Jason Love takes on the world's tallest, fastest, longest flying coaster. Gulp. -
How The Nextel Phone Chirp Brings Us One Step Closer to HellEven the Buddha would -- chirp chirp -- go -- chirp chirp -- INSANE! -
Competitive Eating"Joey started to convulse in a way that made you look around for an ambulance"... -
Auto Show - The Latest Technology Reviewed by the Dumbest Car Guy We Could FindCars that run on water? Where we're going, you won't need ... roads. -
Grammar with an "A"How else do you explain the spelling of grammar and the pronunciation of colonel? -
Plant Lady - Green Thumb Expert Sets Some Things Straight"You're going to be all right," he told the plant. "The stalk is overrated anyway." -
PunctualityIt started early, when Jason Love kept his mother in labor so long that they finally came after him with tongs. -
Circus VargasWhat is it like to really, truly live out your dream of being a clown in the circus? Jason Love can tell you. -
Salsa Dancing - From Frankenstein-like Agility to Being at Least the WolfmanUncoordinated man risks humiliation, and all for the pheromones. -
Massage - The Other Psychedelic DrugJason Love stumbles out of massage and risks a DUIM -- driving under the influence of massage. -
Spin Class - A Look Behind Those Closed Glass Doors"Maybe it would be easier if we were peforming some function like churning butter and generating electricity..." -
Computer Hell - The Norton Virus Takes OverA simple virus definition update turns into a reboot fiasco. -
Corporate Work - Just Because We've Got AC Doesn't Mean it Ain't HellBefore you vaporize your coworkers, read this. -
Feng Shui - Enough to Drive You CrazyA feng shui expert sees bad things for humor columnist Jason Love. -
Humor Columnist Has Some Questions for Saint PeterWhy is there boxing at the Goodwill games? How come psychics never win the lottery? What do you call a fly with no wings -- a walk? These are but some of the important questions raised by former one-liner comedian Jason Love. -
Sweets AddictionWhy are donuts acceptable breakfast food, but not, say, cheesecake or cotton candy? Find out from a guy who will start the day with anything up to and including Toxic Waste-e-o's. Frosted. -
Wine-Tasting: Not Just for Snobs AnymoreSyndicated humor guy Jason Love finds out what all the snobbery is about. His favorite: Any wine that tastes like Kool-Aid. -
Puerto Vallarta - Insects, Tequila, and Lots of LaughsSyndicated humor columnist Jason Love ventures into the jungle of Puerto Vallarta armed only with shots of tequila.