Paul Gerke
I am a senior broadcasting major. I have been constructing satirical pieces and writing song parodies since I was young. I owned and operated Arabianmonkey.com, which garnered over 1,000,000 page views before it wasn't renewed after the first year due to lack of funding. I am a master promoter and an intelligent writer. I currently work as a part-time sports reporter for WJRT ABC12 in Flint, MI.
Read More »
...
- Page Views
- 1,067,832
- Content
- 56
- Fans
- 15
- Contributor since
- 4/17/2007
Education/Experience
Former student at Grand Valley State University, current student at The University of Michigan FlintFavorites
Displaying Results 1 - 56 (of 56) for Yahoo! Voices
-
Favre to Vikings: "I'm Gonna Take My Talents to South Beach."(Minneapolis) - The speculation concerning the future of the NFL's all-time leading passer has finally come to an end. Brett Favre, the 3-time NFL MVP, is heading to Miami. -
5 Signs Your Job SucksDoes your job suck? If you can't tell, it probably does. These five signs should easily diagnose a sucky job- so you'd better grab a job application the next time you're ordering that Filet-o-Fish combo.
-
Britney Spears to Sell Her Pride and New Album to Jive Records for DoritosThis afternoon, a spokeswoman for Spears made a surprising announcement to the press: that Britney was in the process of recording a new album. The album, tentatively titled "More, More, More: The Lament of A Value Meal," is scheduled to be released in June of 2008. -
The 5 Most Disappointing Moments in a Father's LifeWe have all upset our parents at one point or another- but we have particularly shipwrecked our fathers multiple times as we grew older. -
NBA Referees Bet Team Owners that "They Probably Would've Lost Those Games Anyway"In an interesting turn of events Tuesday afternoon, a group of fellow NBA referees has openly announced that they have offered a bet to several NBA owners, declaring that "their teams would have lost those games anyway." -
A Survival Plan for the NHL: Can Hockey Survive in America?The National Hockey League has certainly seen better days. Two years removed from its unprecedented lockout, the NHL is frantically struggling to survive in an era where many Americans hardly consider ice hockey to be a sport. -
Will the Lakers Trade Kobe Bryant?The Los Angeles Lakers are apparently still stinging from their first round exit in the 2007 NBA Playoffs. Kobe Bryant was recently quoted as saying that if GM Jerry West does not return to the team next season, he would prefer to be traded. -
Climbers Take 1,100 Pounds Of Trash Off Mount EverestIn the last seven years, climbers from Japan and Nepal have completed five garbage-collecting excursions on Mt. Everest in a mission to clean up the world's tallest mountain. -
Woman in China Has Cat That Sprouted WingsAn elderly woman in the city of Xianyang recently discovered something disturbing about her cat. What appeared to be two small growths on the cat's back soon expanded into wings, according to the Huashang News. -
Why Smokey the Bear Has Driven Me InsaneI am at my wit's end. No longer am I interested by the daily grind, and the world has taken its final toll on me. Before I end my worthless existence on this planet, I would like to share a secret with all of you- I am the only one who can prevent forest fires. -
Top Ten Weirdest Team Names in SportsThe world of sports has an appeal that transcends athletic competition and makes its way into the everyday lives of people around the globe. Every sports fan cheers for a particular club or city, but few of us stop to think about what actually goes into naming a team. -
Fake Product Review: Marlboro ToothpasteHave you ever wanted a nicotine buzz early in the morning or late at night, but you couldn't get to a cigarette? Do you like smoking but hate the smell of smoke? Do you love the feeling of tobacco grinding against your teeth? -
German Man Found Dead in Bed 7 Years LaterHave you ever lost something and found it in an unexpected place much later? Perhaps you misplaced a wallet, your keys, or your driver's license- but most times such things can be replaced. Not in this case. -
Tony Blair to Resign as Prime Minister of EnglandGreat Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced his resignation of the post, effective June 27, as soon as a new leader is elected from the Labour party. -
Lakisha Jones Bids Farewell to American IdolThis season of American Idol has garnered the most television viewers in the talent competition's history. Tens of millions of Americans tuned in to their local FOX affiliate Wednesday night to find out which contestant would be eliminated in fourth place. -
Google Search Gets Psychotherapist Banned from the United StatesAndrew Feldmar, a well-known Vancouver psychotherapist, was banned from the U.S. after a Google search uncovered that the doctor had experimented with psychoactive drugs in the 1970's. -
Flint, Michigan - Home of Unemployment Since 1981Flint was once home to thousands of hard working families, prideful businesses, and a General Motors plant- it was a city of tremendous highs. Now Flint is nothing but a shell of its former self, a city as dark as its stone cold namesake. -
White House 2008: What If Bill Clinton Becomes the First Lady?Hillary Clinton is running for the 2008 presidential election, and she undoubtedly has the best chance of any woman in American history to become the first woman head-of-state. That's all fine and dandy, but if Hillary get sworn in, what will become of her husband Bill? -
The Top Five In-The-Closet Celebrities You Didn't Know Were GayHave you ever taken one look at celebrity and known without a doubt that they were a flaming homosexual? Without even knowing so much as their name, you could peg them as a guy who dug dudes or a chick who loved ladies. -
Top Five Myths of the U.S. Constitution - What Rights Do You Really Have?As citizens of the United States, you have the right to know exactly what you can and cannot do under the laws provided by our government. -
When is the NBA Going to Stop Making Love to Lebron James and Dwayne Wade?Attention fans of the National Basketball Association- your favorite league is cheating on you. The NBA is enveloped in a incestual love affair with two of its own, Lebron James and Dwayne Wade. -
Your High School Graduating Class - Where Are They Now?When you graduated from high school, your first thought was probably one of relief. But looking back on it now, you begin to wonder- what ever became of all those kids that made your life a living hell? -
MLB Home Run Totals Down: Are New Steroid Rules to Blame?This season many MLB stars are off to such a slow start that home-run totals around the league lower were lower in April than they have ever been since 1993. -
Helena's El Charritos in Davison, Michigan: Authentic Mexican DiningIs the cold Michigan weather getting you down? Are you looking for a hot Mexican restaurant to spice up your life? Well, look no further! -
Jane's Addiction: Are Jane and Sergio Through?It appears that Jane has finally ended her long and tumultuous relationship with Sergio, according to an Associated Press report released Wednesday. -
How to Manipulate People: A Guide to Tricking Your Friends and EnemiesYou see, I've already manipulated you into reading this article. Therefore, I have proven to you that I am a forward authority on this subject.
-
Why Life is Worth LivingCaught in the mire of the daily grind we all too often overlook the sweet little things that make life worth living in the first place. I think that it is our inherent tendency, as human beings, to speed life up and look ahead to the better times in our future.
-
Solutions to Boredom: Things to Do Between Hits of a CigaretteMake a phone call to The President of The United States and request an end to the war in Iraq. (Speak slowly and be nice). -
Box of Condoms Leads to Evacuation of ClassroomsIn the wake of the Virginia Tech Massacre, many school officials feel that they would rather be safe than sorry- but what could provide more safety than a box of 500 condoms? -
Brady Quinn Has a Rough Day at the 2007 NFL DraftOn some mock draft boards, Brady Quinn was on his way to being selected first overall in the 2007 NFL Draft. That is not exactly how things went down, as the Notre Dame quarterback waited patiently to be selected in a private suite of the Radio City Music Hall. -
Follow-Up: Admitted Marijuana Use by Top NFL Picks Does Not Affect Draft StatusA week ago, three premier NCAA football stars admitted to using marijuana, and many analysts wondered whether or not their decision to be honest would affect their status in the 2007 NFL Draft. -
Michael Jordan's Son Headed to IllinoisFor Jeffrey Jordan, it must be difficult to have any aspirations to play professional basketball. As the son of arguably the best player in NBA history, Jeffrey faces infinite expectations that aren't tremendously likely to be met.
-
The Oakland Raiders Take JaMarcus Russell Number One OverallThe NFL Draft Day anticipation was eating at everyone. As mock draft after mock draft blared across the television screens of millions of people across the nation, football fans waited with bated breath as Saturday afternoon approached. And finally, zero hour was upon us. -
Hammer Bros. Of Nintendo Plead "Not Guilty" to Felony Assault ChargesThe Hammer Brothers of Super Mario fame have plead "not guilty" today to three counts of felonious assault. The brothers were arraigned early Thursday morning, with the charges stemming from an incident in August of 1989. -
Why I Despise MyspaceMyspace is dead to me. No longer do its benefits outweigh its faults, and I have simply had enough. -
The Ham Sandwich ControversyAssociated Content has been thrown in the national spotlight recently because of an article posted by one of their content producers. Nicholas Plagman. This article tells the true story of what really happened. -
Conservatives Hum the Tune of "Barack the Magic Negro"Rush Limbaugh features a song on his web page entitled "Barack the Magic Negro," a parody of "Puff the Magic Dragon" written and performed by comedian Paul Shanklin. -
Things that Literate People Should Never DoThere are some things that you people do that just set me off. It is easier to pinpoint groups of people to hate, as opposed to individual actions, because I am an asshole, and I hate everyone. -
University of Michigan Student Expected to Complete Degree in One YearLike most other normal college students, Nicole Matisse is looking forward to a break. Nicole Matisse is not a normal college student, however. -
The State of the World Today: Where Did We Go Wrong?Sometimes, it is very easy for me to see how people can become impatient with the world around them. A look at the state of our society can be depressing, and its no wonder that some folks just snap on a Monday afternoon and shoot up a college campus. -
Five Rules to Live By: An Idiot's Guide on How to Live a Happy Life1. All acquaintances are not friends, and all strangers are not enemies. Sometimes the people you hold closest to your heart don't care for you at all...
-
Top Ten Biggest Douchebags of All TimeIf there is one thing that every American loves, it is a good old fashioned list. It doesn't matter to the everyman what this list is about- hell, it could be a list of Cher's greatest selling singles since 1985.
-
A Redneck Love Letter To My Trailer Park Queen-Jessie- I don't think that it will ever work, between you and I. I mean, I'm all for the give and take of a relationship, but I can only give so much without taking. It's like you don't even know what love is all about. -
Chuck Norris is a BadassChuck Norris is easily the coolest redhead in the world. Norris is more than just that Walker: Texas Ranger dude, he's a bad-ass who has starred in over 2 dozen shitty movies over the last 35 years. 35 YEARS WITHOUT RECOGNITION AS A REPUTABLE ACTOR! -
Lakisha Jones in Danger of Getting the Idol BootLakisha Jones is in danger of being voted off of American Idol Wednesday night. After three consecutive poor performances, Lakisha is the most likely candidate to get the boot when America's votes are tallied for the next show, according to some critics. -
The Appeal of Violence in SportsGeorge Orwell once said "Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting." -
NFL Draft Preview: The Forgotten Seventh RoundWe all know about Calvin Johnson. We know he can catch a football with the best of them. We've heard about LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell and Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn. Yeah, they can hurl a pigskin pretty far and pretty accurately. -
Boris Yeltsin Dies: Russian Federation to Name New Countries After HimFormer Russian President Boris Yeltsin died Monday morning at the age of 76. Yeltsin is known for hastening the collapse of the Soviet Union by pushing for democracy in the U.S.S.R.- and by never filing his tax returns.
-
Drunken Man Emerges from Under TrainA young German man recently set a new standard for drunkenness- he fell under a moving train after being startled out of a nap. The 19-year old Berlin native came to the train station in nearby Cologne, but apparently had a tad too much to drink before he arrived. -
Pacman's Apology Isn't EnoughSometimes, "sorry" just doesn't cut it. Someone needs to tell that to Adam "Pacman" Jones, who is going great lengths to let his fans know how sorry he his for his mistakes. -
Why the Detroit Tigers' Bullpen Will Cost Them a Playoff BerthIn the 2006 season, the Detroit Tigers made a storybook run to the World Series, an unbelievable turnaround after missing the playoffs for over a decade. One of the key reasons for that sudden success was the pitching of Detroit's bullpen. -
Spider Man... The Musical?If you are one of those people who doesn't know what you are going to do with your life once Spider Man 3 is removed from theaters, worry no longer. -
American Billionaire Returns to Earth - Discovers Nobody CaresAn American billionaire who paid 25-million dollars to the Russian government for a trip to space returned to Earth on Saturday. -
Top NFL Prospects Admit to Marijuana UseIt was announced by Pro Football Weekly on Thursday that three top National Football League prospects admitted to past marijuana usage. -
Hippies Rejoice- Earth Day is Upon UsIn perhaps the greenest party of the year (in every sense of the word), hippies around the globe will be celebrating in droves this weekend. -
Detroit Redwings Lose Playoff Game to Eight-Seeded FlamesOn Tuesday night, the Detroit Redwings lost game three of their Western Conference Quarterfinals match up against the Calgary Flames.