Abiola Abrams

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Are your in-laws ruining your relationship? When you choose a life partner you also enter a new family. Nonetheless, it’s important to remember that the new family you create together receives priority. This s...

5 signs you’re (finally!) over your ex It’s natural to grieve when a love relationship ends. This person was special to you. Just as with a death, there can be an enormous sense of loss, longing and regre...

Wives confess! 'What I didn't know until I was married' We can and we should learn from each other. With that in mind, I contacted a group of accomplished and successful women across...

4 types of friends who will ruin your relationship When it comes to love and friendship, your job is to continue to be the best friend you can be and assure your friends that you...

What if I’m scared to feel passionate, romantic love again? Romantic passion is the key to your life. The juicy stuff that makes the battery hum. Rust, without careful maintenance, is alw...

Capture the man of your dreams: How to reel in "the one" So you’ve met someone amazing. You find him handsome, sexy, funny, compassionate and intelligent. All of his crooked places f...

Is he married? 4 signs that your man is cheating... with you! "What is wrong with him?," you ask yourself and your friends. He's so great that he must be a secret serial killer or something...

4 reasons your dating profile gets no play Online dating can be as fun as you allow it to be. The great thing is that you can weed people out before getting to know then and realizing that you’re just way too...

The Boudoir Photo Shoot: Sexy Gift Idea for Your Guy! There are many reasons why women choose to do a boudoir shoot. Sometimes it’s about a rite of passage such as a significant b...

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  Are unmarried women bringing home the bacon and still having to cook it?

  1/16/2013

  Is sharing keys with someone the same as 'putting a ring on it?' Are you on the path to marriage or just playing house?
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  Are your commitment issues your mom’s fault?

  12/17/2012

  Much is made in the media of men’s commitment issues. The unavailable man has practically become the boogey man, a fearsome character to avoid at all costs. Well, women also deal with love avoidance. The good news is that something can be done about it!
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  How to avoid holiday misunderstandings

  12/13/2012

  For some of us the sound of "ho, ho, ho" is sacred! For others, it's a nuisance. Here's how to make sure you're still together after the holidays...
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  Advice for newlyweds: How to decide where to spend the holidays

  12/10/2012

  Yay! Your first holiday season is an exciting time. You've been through a great deal together already. Out of billions of people of the planet, you somehow found each other, love each other and the same time and committed to a lifetime...
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  Is 25 the right age to get married?

  12/6/2012

  You're young and in love! Yipeeee. It's time to get married, right? Not so fast...
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  Your first holiday together! Here's how not to blow it

  11/28/2012

  Sure it's nerve-wracking to think of your new boyfriend meeting your scary dad or judgmental Aunt Bertha, but take a deep breath. At the end of the day the opinion that matters most is yours. Prep your guy about any family weirdness and go for it.
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  Wedding toast etiquette: Do's and don’ts!

  11/2/2012

  If you can’t say something nice shut up! Remember that funny story about how the bride got kicked out of boarding school? Save it. Cracking up about the fact that the groom used to be a playboy? Keep it to yourself...
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  Are your in-laws ruining your relationship?

  10/24/2012

  When you choose a life partner you also enter a new family. Nonetheless, it’s important to remember that the new family you create together receives priority. This shift in energy is bound to create problems...
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  Should you invite your ex’s family to your wedding? A Jennifer Aniston case study

  10/17/2012

  America’s Sweetheart allegedly has an interesting guest on her wedding list. It seems that Jennifer may have invited Jane Pitt, ex husband Brad Pitt’s mom, to attend her nuptials...
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  What to do if you run into your ex? A Kim Kardashian dating case study

  10/17/2012

  Oh no. Is that your ex boyfriend up ahead? What! You don’t have custom designer duds or a bad boy rapper boyfriend to make the ex jealous? Okay, so what’s a proud girl next door to do in a similar situation?
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  5 signs you’re (finally!) over your ex

  10/3/2012

  It’s natural to grieve when a love relationship ends. This person was special to you. Just as with a death, there can be an enormous sense of loss, longing and regret after breaking up. Take it from your personal “Breakup Whisperer,” many of us move...
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  Women confess! Our partners' most annoying habits

  9/5/2012

  Take heart! You're not alone. While you're listening to your partner crack another corny joke with the waitress at the local Applebee's, women all around the country are doing the same.
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  Wives confess! 'What I didn't know until I was married'

  8/29/2012

  We can and we should learn from each other. With that in mind, I contacted a group of accomplished and successful women across the country to share their secret marriage lessons...
• 
  4 types of friends who will ruin your relationship

  8/28/2012

  When it comes to love and friendship, your job is to continue to be the best friend you can be and assure your friends that you’ll still be there for them. You are not responsible for making any insecure person feel secure, however...
• What if I’m scared to feel passionate, romantic love again?

  7/17/2012

  Romantic passion is the key to your life. The juicy stuff that makes the battery hum. Rust, without careful maintenance, is always a risk.
• 
  Capture the man of your dreams: How to reel in "the one"

  7/3/2012

  So you’ve met someone amazing. You find him handsome, sexy, funny, compassionate and intelligent. All of his crooked places fit your crooked places. Yay, you! After all it’s not about seeking perfection because we aren’t perfect ourselves.
• Multi-dating! How many people should you be dating at the same time?

  6/6/2012

  I’m a monogamous creature by nature. One is the number of failed marriages under my belt. Ten is the number of years I was with the “was-band.” Three is the number of “real” relationships I’ve had since that time. Two is the amount of times...
• 4 reasons your dating profile gets no play

  5/24/2012

  Online dating can be as fun as you allow it to be. The great thing is that you can weed people out before getting to know then and realizing that you’re just way too different. Your profile is the way that your potential happily ever after will...
• Is love at first sight really possible?

  5/17/2012

  Hollywood makes a great deal of money on lovey dovey romantic comedies. Rather than meeting and falling in love immediately the hero and heroine usually “meet cute.” A meet cute scene is one where the lovers-to-be meet dramatically under...
• Is he married? 4 signs that your man is cheating... with you!

  5/17/2012

  "What is wrong with him?," you ask yourself and your friends. He's so great that he must be a secret serial killer or something, you joke. A guy this great would usually be already taken. Then it dawns on you. Maybe he is already taken...
• 3 ways to improve communication in your relationship right now!

  5/16/2012

  Communication will make or break your relationship. Even if you are incredibly compatible as individuals, you’re going to have issues if you can’t become compatible communicators. Like most behaviors, we tend to model our communication methods...
• 2 ways to use the 'Law of Attraction' for more love!

  5/16/2012

  Viewers did not grasp that yes, the Law of Attraction exists but it is only one law. There are many spiritual laws. For example, there’s the Law of Right Action. If you just stick a bunch of photos of your dream guy on a vision board and then...
• Is he your soulmate? Find “the one”

  5/11/2012

  My belles, the only person who can know for sure whether someone is your soulmate is you. The good news is that we don’t get just one soulmate. If you feel like that guy back in high school or some other missed connection was your soulmate...
• All men are dogs! Limiting beliefs that block the love you deserve

  5/10/2012

  A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking. If there’s a mantra you subscribe to, such as “all men are dogs,” you will most certainly attract and be drawn to men who will prove you right.
• Biggest relationship mistakes that women make in their 20s

  5/1/2012

  Dating is fun but sometimes in our delirium, desperation and confusion we forget that. Every date need not lead to your happily ever after. Relax and live your life. This is a great time to sample all of the cookies in the cupboard...
• 2 disastrous dating mistakes we make in our 30s

  5/1/2012

  The dating game changes dramatically each decade of our lives. When you were 17 your biggest love issue was who would look cutest in your your prom pictures. You probably thought that you were in true love a couple of times in your twenties.
• How to balance your love life and career success! A Bethenny Frankel case study

  4/27/2012

  Jason and Bethenny together look like the perfect couple. They’re both gorgeous, like a brunette Ken and Barbie made to match, and with lil daughter Brynn in the picture we’re on a fabulosity overload. Jason is a successful businessman in his own right.
• The “be fearless” dating approach: Dating men over 40, plus interracial relationships

  4/26/2012

  New York psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert wants to give us fearless living tools beyond therapy and “The Secret.” His new advice guide “Be Fearless” breaks down why he thinks that traditional therapy is failing.
• What is ‘Deliberate Orgasm?’ Let’s talk about your pleasure

  4/24/2012

  That is a good question and it’s a big question, a question that has many components to its answer. I feel the important thing is that it has become a current ‘topic.’ It is significant that female orgasm is being discussed in the media...
• A break from sex?! Single women, should you be celibate?

  4/23/2012

  In the past I was a serial monogamist. The only time I’ve been single is when I’ve decided to be single on purpose. For me, celibacy works like a reset button...
• What to do if your man is fired! Love lessons from “Khloe and Lamar”

  4/10/2012

  The love of your life may not be a 6’10” bballer, but it’s just as devastating when he’s fighting battles in his career. The Great Recession left many families scrambling to pick up the pieces from firings, layoffs and foreclosures.
• Are you a love addict?

  4/3/2012

  Plain and simple, you are a love addict if your life has become unmanageable because of the relationships you’re in -- or that you imagine yourself to be in. Here's what to do about it!
• Flirting 101: How to flirt your way to love

  4/3/2012

  Flirting is a key skill in your bag of love tricks. We’ve all seen someone across the room who we want to get to know better. Maybe it’s his gorgeous face or the way his eyes light up but your night won’t be complete until you have a conversation.
• Does your bedroom invite love and passion into your life?

  4/3/2012

  Is your boudoir warm, sexy, and inviting or cold and dirty? These things matter. More often than not, your bedroom is a reflection of your love life.
• The female orgasm: What we need to know now

  3/29/2012

  Be willing to release the idea of what should be happening in your bedroom. Everyone’s body reacts differently.
• How to use body language to make your love life juicier

  3/14/2012

  To help you in your springtime dating endeavors, I contacted body language expert Sharon Jakubecy. Love, sex, dating and relationships are supposed to be fun. The whole purpose of coming together with another person is to help us evolve.
• The cheater meter: Can you predict if your man will cheat?

  2/29/2012

  As a love columnist, a large percentage of my email contains advice questions related to cheating. Readers want to know whether they should forgive a cheater, why did their partner cheat to begin with, can they prevent someone from cheating (no!) and...
• 'Spirit Junkie' Gabrielle Bernstein: Meditations and 'MediDating' for better relationships

  1/30/2012

  Gabrielle Bernstein is an author and spiritual guru who is hoping to change our approach to relationships with her new project, 'MediDating: Meditations for Fearless Romance.' The New York resident has spoken about her own recovery from love addiction.
• "Real Housewives of Atlanta" lessons in passion: What we can learn from Kandi's sexy new venture

  1/12/2012

  It has been quite the reason on Bravo's "Real Housewives of Atlanta." Our favorite Georgia peaches traditionally make headlines for throwing each other under the proverbial bus. This season, however, it the down South divas are all about new ventures.
• Brandy misses her friendship with Kim Kardashian! How to get back an old friend

  1/12/2012

  There is no one in life like our best girlfriends. When we get together with these sisters from another mister, we confess our deepest secrets and reveal our worst fears. Anyone who has ever had a best girlfriend knows that we love hard and we fight hard.
• Re-learn self-worth after a devastating breakup! Self-love lessons from Demi Moore's ordeal

  1/12/2012

  Divorce or any big breakup is like a death. The life that you thought you had planned no longer exists. In cases where there are lies and adultery, we question whether the life we thought we had even existed.
• Help! Our sexual timing is off

  11/22/2011

  Morning sex is practically legendary. Guys certainly wake up prepared for it. Research scientist Dr. Debby Herbenick even claims that there are health benefits to getting your day off to a roaring start.
• When should women settle in the search for love?

  11/15/2011

  It can be easy to get caught up in "the list" of the qualities that you are looking for in a life partner. After all, we all deserve to have our heart's desire. Society will tell women who are selective that we are "too picky" but if a man is selective...
• Your first Thanksgiving together? Read this first!

  11/9/2011

  You have someone new in your life. You enjoyed your first Halloween together but that was easy and drama-free. You put on matching costumes, went to a party and life moved on. Thanksgiving is a whole different kind of holiday experience.
• 5 reasons not to get married: Kim Kardashian's divorce as a cautionary tale

  11/3/2011

  Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries may or may not be another chapter in a perfectly executed reality TV saga. Either way, there are lessons for us fab everyday goddesses to learn from 'Kim's Fairytale Divorce.'
• How to meet the love of your life: Sex and the single Gurley Brown Girl

  11/2/2011

  I receive so much mail that from women asking where all of the good men are that one might assume that we’re all living on some Amazon island with Wonder Woman. Men, of course, are everywhere.
• Relationship bonding activities: Date night plans to make you fall madly in love ... again

  10/12/2011

  It's date night again for you and your sweetie. You want to keep it fresh but things have become pretty routine. You've been to your favorite restaurants and his. Your movie nights are a mix of hits and misses. Now what?
• Talk dirty to me: The Lifestyle Passionista's guide to sexy talk

  10/10/2011

  Men and women communicate differently. Any hetero person who has ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with their mate can attest to that. There's one time where our communication preferences definitely overlap -- in the bedroom.
• Halloween group costume ideas that will make everyone else jealous!

  9/26/2011

  Halloween is upon us again! Fright night is one of my favorite non-holiday holidays.
• Soul mate love lessons from author Cheryl Richardson: Creating an exceptional love life

  9/26/2011

  One of the more common 'Dear Abiola' love advice questions that I get is about soul mates. People want to know if soul mates really exist, how many opportunities at a soul mate we each get, and what to do if you've already broken up with yours.
• How Twitter, Facebook and Flickr can ruin your love life

  9/20/2011

  Last night one of my besties called in a panic. Her high school sweetheart was in town. They found each other on Facebook. At the last minute she agreed to meet him for drinks.
• Love, sex and relationship advice from 'The Millionaire Matchmaker'

  9/20/2011

  Some of us get lucky and meet the love of our lives while standing in line at the post office. Others may meet our life partners in the modern day meat market known as a bar.
• Help! We are too loud in the bedroom

  9/14/2011

  When it comes to the letters that come across my lifestyle advice inbox, very few make me chuckle. I pride myself on being a (mostly) judgment-free zone. This one definitely made me smile though.
• How to live and love like a bombshell

  9/13/2011

  Traditionally, 'bombshell' was a term reserved for only the most sexy and captivating among us. These were the legendary bombshells; women who oozed sexual energy and knew the power of seduction.
• When to leave a relationship: How do I know it's over?

  9/5/2011

  The challenge is that we do not enter a marriage or long-term commitment with the plan of ending it. This is noble but sometimes this may work to our detriment.
• The Kate Moss wedding: 3 creative wedding ideas to borrow

  8/26/2011

  It has been a huge year for weddings, both here and abroad.
• The love switch: How to attract more love into your life

  8/25/2011

  When we think about attracting or creating abundance, we assume that this just means money. However, the state of feeling and living an abundant lifestyle means much more than just the green stuff.
• Love and politics: If you have political differences can it work?

  8/22/2011

  Recently New York State celebrated an incredible victory for marriage equality. Gay couples can get married here and we're all thrilled about it, right? Not so fast.
• How to feng shui your space for more love than you ever thought possible

  8/9/2011

  When my relationship of over 10 years crumbled, I found myself suddenly single in my early thirties and having to set up a new solo household. I was living single and my house reflected it.
• Can clutter clearing make your love life better? How to make room in your life for love

  8/7/2011

  So you want love in your life. Who doesn't? That's part of why we're here on the planet; to love each other and be loved.
• How to avoid online dating scam artists

  7/31/2011

  These dating con artists target both men and women. They often masquerade by using photos of models who have a variety of photos online available and ripe for the picking.
• 5 steps for getting out of a love funk

  7/31/2011

  So the relationship you were in just crashed and burned. For better or for worse, it ain't happening. It is a wrap. Y'all have called it quits. You are no longer hitching your horse up to their corral. Now what?
• Cheaters suck! Five infidelity-related websites you need to know

  7/26/2011

  Cheating. Infidelity. Adultery. Yeesh.
• New relationship and a death in the family? Help!

  7/21/2011

  New relationships don't always begin at the most opportune moment. Sometimes we start dating someone a week before Valentine's Day, the day before their birthday or just in time for the holidays.
• 10 relationship questions that your new love must answer

  7/19/2011

  We know within the first 15 seconds of meeting someone whether they are right for us. Most of us, unfortunately, are not always in tune with our intuition.
• Signs of an insecure man: Should you date or marry an insecure guy?

  7/18/2011

  Who doesn't understand insecurity?
• Are you ready for love? 5 ways to get ready for an awesome new relationship

  7/11/2011

  "I am ready this year. I was ready last year. So where is he? Why isn't my soul mate here yet?" asked my beautiful and fashionable attorney friend.
• Niche dating websites help you find love

  7/9/2011

  Niche dating sites include Cougar Life for older women and younger men, Jehovah Connect for Jehovah's Witnesses, Fitness Singles for those obsessed with working out and even Beautiful People and Darwin Dating to provide dating options for the shallow.
• Unavailable men: 5 types of men who are absolutely, positively not available for love

  7/6/2011

  Are you attracted to unavailable men? Yes, I'm talking to you. There is no need to be embarrassed, doll face, I have been there before repeatedly.
• Are you mothering your man? How to stop acting like your guy's mother

  6/29/2011

  My ex-husband is now a comedian. This makes complete sense, as our marriage was a joke.
• My ex is getting married and I still love him

  6/29/2011

  Recently, my ex husband told me that he was getting married. We were only married for six months but we had been together for 10 years.
• Are you compatible? 3 ways to tell love compatibility

  6/27/2011

  Yeah, yeah. Zodiac schmodiac. What is your love language, baby? That's what we should be asking.
• Relationship deal breakers: 9 reasons to leave immediately

  6/27/2011

  The notion of unconditional love is romantic but most of us have deal breakers when it comes to love. Some of these reasons to call it quits may be superficial and silly, like a partner gains weight.
• How to forgive someone you love in 9 agonizing steps

  6/21/2011

  When we're looking at things from a place of pure ego, the thought of forgiveness sucks. You mean, someone does something wrong to me and I release them from blame? And why would I want to do that again?
• 40 positive affirmations for love and relationships: Giving, getting and keeping love

  6/20/2011

  I don't know who stole my beloved bright pink snake print Chameleon Filofax, but I hope that they are enjoying all of my positive affirmations. Take that, Filo thief. Yeah.
• Where to get a shellac mani/pedi in New York

  6/14/2011

  Sleeves get longer in the winter and hair wilts in the summer but our nails can always be sharp. Whether you are a DIY gal or a spa chick your mani-pedi is an essential part of your beauty repertoire, right?
• 41 break up lines: Because breaking up is hard to do

  6/14/2011

  You don't complete me. You had me at goodbye. Never thine, never mine, never ours. I wish I knew how to quit you. No, really.
• First date conversations: What should I talk about on a first date?

  6/13/2011

  Recently I wrapped myself in a cute green and white patterned vintage DVF dress for a restaurant first date with a guy who seemed interesting.
• Should you tell a friend that her man is cheating?

  6/8/2011

  Your friend is madly in love with her guy. As far as you know this is a great thing because he seems cool. That is, he seemed cool until you saw him cheating on her with your own eyes. Or maybe you heard a rumor. Do you tell her?

  Also published on:

  • Yahoo! US News
• What should I wear on a first date?

  6/4/2011

  What should you wear on a first date? Here's the official rundown from your Lifestyle Passionista.
• Are you in an abusive relationship and don't know it?

  6/3/2011

  Abusers prey on those with low self-esteem. This we all know. So is it possible to be a woman with seemingly healthy self-esteem to be in an abusive relationship? Absolutely.

  Also published on:

  • Yahoo! US News
• Help! My boyfriend was in jail. Can I trust him?

  6/2/2011

  One of my newest guilty pleasures is the VH1 reality show 'Mob Wives.' The show follows a group of outrageous Staten Island women whose fathers, husbands and boyfriends are all currently or formerly incarcerated.
• Should you date a man who is separated?

  5/24/2011

  Last Thursday, I slipped on my pre-recession, nappa tie-back Jimmy Choos, grabbed my subway Metrocard and headed out to meet my favorite boys and girls at a glam rock weekly dance party.
• When should you meet a new boyfriend's children or introduce your own?

  5/23/2011

  Children should never be witness to a string of people coming in and out of their parents' lives. For a child, each person who exits their lives is akin to a death. They become attached, as do we.