Bob Sweet
Bob Sweet has spent 20 years writing for newspapers, magazines, and investment newsletters. He's been married for 17 years, and for the last 13 of those years, he has struggled for balance between those writing jobs and the far more important task of being a father. That balance is a work in progress, but he continues to strive for it. Bob welcomes you to learn from both his successes and his failures. Contact Bob at bob@askthedad.com
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Ex-smokers Can't Let Guilt Keep Them From Teaching Their Kids Not to Light UpToo often, parents who used to smoke have trouble enforcing a no-smoking policy with their children. Don't fall into that trap. Act in your children's best interest, and if necessary, use your own mistakes as a teaching tool.
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How to Select a SchoolParents shouldn't assume that a magnet school is better than the neighborhood school just because of its name. Do the research before making a decision, and consider the needs of your particular child, not public opinion.
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Yes, You Can Punish a ToddlerSome parents look past toddlers' disobedience, chalking it up to "the terrible 2s." Don't make that mistake. Instead, establish yourself as the authority figure and begin the process of training her to behave. If you wait, the job gets harder.
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Compassion Does Not Create CrybabiesWhen your child gets hurt, intervene as necessary. In most cases, you need not worry about creating a crybaby or a Momma's boy. But if the kid doesn't appreciate your fussing over him, respect his wishes and keep the assistance low-key.
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Let Kids Grow Up at Their Own PaceHold onto those childhood traditions as long as you can -- but only until the child is ready to give them up. There is a fine line between pushing your child to grow up quickly and babying him too much. Fortunately, the kid will draw that line for you.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Dating, Age Differences, and Listening to ParentsThis column explains to a 14-year-old girl why her father isn't excited about her dating a 17-year-old boy. We advise her to respect her father's experience and authority and to listen to him.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Pets, Twins with Different Birthdays, and Not Having KidsThis parenting advice column discusses the wisdom of allowing a child to keep an animal he brings home. We also address the topic of whether kids born on different days can still be twins and whether it is selfish not to have children.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Child Abuse, Discipline, and Screaming at KidsThis parenting advice column counsels a woman to take immediate action to prevent her boyfriend from screaming at his children. They have a baby on the way, and given his history, she must make sure he won't slip from anger into abuse.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Pregnant Teens, Clothing, and Gifts for Bald MenThis parenting advice column counsels a teenager to be careful about giving hair-growth shampoo to balding relatives. We also weigh in on what constitutes respectful attire for a pregnant girl.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Children Teaching Adults, Politics, Education, and Social ReformThis parenting advice column addresses a man (presumably young) who believes children should have the authority to educate adults, including their parents.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice: On Disobedient Toddlers, Punishment, and GuiltThis parenting advice column suggests that a mother step up the punishments until her 2-year-old stops throwing things in the house. She shouldn't feel too guilty for overreacting, as long as she doesn't do it again.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice Column: On Profanity, Child Neglect, Manners, and CourtesyThis parenting advice column explains why parents teach their children not to use profanity. We also weigh in on the issue of whether a house cleaner should report child neglect and why many children are rude and disrespectful.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice Column: On Planning for the Future, Money, Jobs, and Life ExperienceThis parenting advice column reviews a young couple's life plan. The plan isn't perfect, but the fact that they have made the plan at all is a good thing.
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Ask the Dad Parenting Advice Column: On Pregnant Teens, Angry Parents, Kicking Kids Out of the House, and Rebuilding RelationshipsThis parenting advice column tells a mother who kicked her daughter out of the house that it will take time and a lot of effort to restore that relationship. The pregnant girl claims not to know the name of the father, and she needs Mom more than ever.
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On Pet Food, Child Health, Discipline, when to Have Children, and GrandparentsThis parenting advice column warns a mother that her baby will consider the race for the pet food a game until Mom changes the rules. We also advise a couple looking for parental approval to marry before having kids.
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On Threats, Visitation and Custody, Legal Advice, and Bad Behavior on a PlaneThis parenting advice column warns a man that his past threat to the mother of his child could come back to haunt him in court. We also deal with a jerk problem on an airplane.
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On New Babies, Jealous Children, and Getting Kids Involved in the Baby-care ProcessThis parenting advice column tells a mother that her sons' jealousy and resentment toward the impending new baby is not unusual. She should take steps to get them used to the idea, but not try to force them to be happy.
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On Rude Neighbors, Parents Who Don't Listen, Childhood Obesity, and DietsThis parenting advice column suggests that while you can fight back against rude neighbor kids, sometimes the consequences are not worth the trouble. We also advise parents not to put their children on restricted-calorie diets.
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On Vegetarian Diets, Health Problems, Weight Loss, and when to Listen to a DoctorThis parenting advice column suggests that a teen with a history of dietary and weight-related issues has no business going vegetarian against the wishes of her parents, and probably her doctor as well.
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On when to Stop Wiping a Child's Butt, Bathroom Skills, Independence, Maturity, and PornographyThis parenting advice column addresses the issue of whether a 9-year-old is too old to have his parents clean him off after he uses the bathroom. Spoiler: The answer is an emphatic yes. We also talk about why boys like pornography.
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On Privacy, Children in Danger, and when to PryThis parenting advice column suggests that while the right to privacy is not absolute, parents risk losing some of their political capital when they snoop on their children's communications.
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On Kids Who Don't Use Car Seats, Safety, and Dating Teens with Very Strict ParentsThis parenting advice column suggests that the lack of car-seat use stems from both ignorance and apathy. We also counsel a teenage boy about how to approach the parents of a girl who is not allowed to go out very often.
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On when to Yell at Kids, Discipline, Parent Disagreements, and Dressing Children to Match in Christmas PhotosThis parenting advice column acknowledges that when one spouse never yells and another yells all the time, a compromise is needed. We also counsel a mother concerned about how to dress her baby son to match his sisters' plaid dresses.
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On Toilet Trailing, Poop in Pants, Discipline, and when Childhood EndsThis parenting advice column suggests that when a toddler urinates in the potty but won't poop there, the problem is rebellion, not toilet training. We also weigh in on the age at which childhood ends.
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On Friendship with Teachers, Appropriate Relationships, Homosexuality, and Rebuilding RelationshipsThis parenting advice column tells a college student it's OK to be friends with her former high-school teacher. We also counseled a father regarding how to start mending his relationship with an estranged son.
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On Child Support, How to Spend the Money, Jobs, and Giving Compliments to KidsThis parenting advice column reminds a woman living off child support and government aid that she shouldn't expect the world to approve of her lifestyle. We also answer the question of what kind of parents compliment other kids, but not their own.
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On the Desire for Kids, Single Men with Paternal Feelings, Periods, and Spending MoneyThis parenting advice column explains that a lot of men like babies. It's common and nothing to worry about. We also suggest that a father whose teenage daughter suddenly needs cash for "girl things" probably isn't looking for drug money.
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On Day-care Centers, Who is Responsible for Homework, Pain, and Comforting Teenage BoysThis parenting advice column suggests that while parents should be responsible for checking children's homework, if the day-care center decides to provide that service, workers shouldn't object. We also offer tips on how to make big boys feel better.
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On Keeping Secrets, Not Telling the Father He is a Dad, Reputations, and the Proper Age for SleepoversThis parenting advice column warns a woman about the dangers of not telling the father that he has a child. We also chime in on the issue of how old a child must be to sleep over at a friend's house.
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On Rude Teens, Angry Parents, Honesty, and What to Say to StrangersThis parenting advice column explains to a teenager why his parents are so upset over his conversations with dinner guests. Just because it's the truth doesn't mean you should tell it all.
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On Parental Authority, Dating and Marrying Stepsiblings, Age Differences, and Breaking Up RelationshipsThis parenting advice column counsels a woman that just because she marries a man, she shouldn't expect her son to end a longtime relationship with the man's daughter. She waited several years too long to take action.
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On the Role of Wife Versus Girlfriend, Moving in Together, Babysitting, and Boys Wearing NecktiesThis parenting advice column suggests that a woman who moves in with a man should expect to assume some responsibility for the child's care. If that's a problem, don't move in. We also counsel a parent not to get too upset about a boy's school dress code.
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On Failure in School, Bad Grades, Coddling Children, and Whether a Boy Should Walk Around in His UnderwearThis parenting advice column warns a teen not to tell his parents they are to blame for his personal failures. We also address the issue of boys strolling about the house in their skivvies.
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On Busy Mothers, Good Parenting, Absent Fathers, and Greener Grass on the Other Side of the FenceThis parenting advice column counsels a woman working two jobs and attending school to cut back on the efforts to get ahead. She must spare some time for her daughter, or she could lose the girl altogether.
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On Cribs, Beds, Where Infants Sleep, and Whether to Let Children Eat Whenever They WantThis parenting advice column tackles the topic of how to get a child to sleep in a crib. We also counsel a parent against letting a child make all the decisions about when and what he eats.
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On Potty Training Discipline, Regression, and the Importance of Keeping Toddlers on TaskThis parenting advice column suggests that while a low-key approach to potty training makes sense, it is not wise to allow a child to become lax about the process.
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On Diabetes Symptoms, Bad Vision, when to See a Doctor, and Whether to Let a Child Suck Her ThumbThis parenting advice column tells the mother of a girl with serious vision problems to take her to the doctor. Immediately. We also weigh in on the issue of how to handle a tween who still sucks her thumb.
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On Men Who Don't Want Kids, Difficult Relationships, Boys Going Through Puberty, and the Desire to Grow UpThis parenting advice column counsels a woman not to expect her boyfriend -- who emphatically does not want children -- to change his mind. We also tell a boy that he shouldn't expect to start looking like a man overnight.
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On Telling the Truth, Love, Donuts, and How to Dispose of Used OilThis parenting advice column discusses the importance of honesty between spouses. The truth may hurt, but it's better than deception. We also address the issue of what to do with the leftover oil after you make homemade donuts.
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On Nurses, Shots in the Butt, Peeing in Pants, Big Government, and Reduced Access to CreditThis parenting advice column counsels a mother not to jump to conclusions about a nurse's action after her son urinates while receiving an injection. We also weigh in on the new rules requiring credit-card issuers to consider only the applicant's income.
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On Learning the Word "no," Discipline Options, the Nanny's Job, Visitation Disputes, and Fathers' RightsThis parenting advice column tells a nanny that she must gain the parents' consent before embarking on a new discipline system. We also advise a father who doesn't know his son to seek visitation -- but be prepared to explain why he waited so long.
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On Training Children, Experience and Wisdom, Custody Disputes, and a Missing KidThis parenting advice column explains why parents train their children, and why that is a good thing. We also counsel a woman whose baby's father refuses to return the infant after a visit.
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On Embarrassed Children, Peeing in Pants, and Getting Both Sides of a StoryThis parenting advice column counsels a mother to get the teacher's side of the story before jumping to the defense of her 11-year-old son, who urinated in his pants because the teacher didn't let him use the bathroom. There is more to this story.
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On Boyfriends Who Don't Come Home, Drinking, Breast Cancer, and Vulgar Slogans on T-shirtsThis parenting advice column counsels a concerned mother to try to ease her boyfriend's transition to fatherhood by making things a bit easier for him. We also suggest that "Feel for lumps, save your bumps" isn't bad, but the slogan could be better.
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On Christmas Spending, How Much is Enough, Finding Nemo, and How Much TV Toddlers Should WatchThis parenting advice column suggests to concerned parents that there is no "proper" amount to spend on Christmas. Consider your budget, not what society thinks you should spend. We also warn a mother not to allow a toddler to set her own TV schedule.
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On Parental Authority, Independence, Grief Over the Death of a Child, and CondolencesThis parenting advice column suggests that while parents have authority over their children from the start, they can lose that authority if they ignore or misuse it. We also address what to say to someone who has lost a child -- in most cases, not much.
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On Young Fathers, when Men Mature, Playing with Toys, and Good MarriagesThis parenting advice column counsels a woman regarding her husband's immaturity, suggesting that she take steps to make the job of parent both easier and more appealing to a man having trouble with the transition.
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On Unequal Treatment of Children, Fathers' Responsibilities, Neighbors, and Death ThreatsThis parenting advice column counsels a mother not to push her son's father too hard regarding involvement in her life. However, she should still go after the money. We also suggest that a mother keep her kids away from a threatning neighbor.
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On Kittens for Teens, Chores, Responsibility, and New Experiences for ToddlersThis parenting advice column warns a mother that if her teenage daughter already neglects the cats with no punishment consequences, another kitten will not make the girl change her ways. We also suggest that it won't traumatize a child to do new things.
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On Discipline for Toddlers, Punishments, and Good BehaviorThis parenting advice column counsels a mother that yes, it's time to start punishing her toddler for violating the rules. Discipline systems work best when established early in life.
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On Couple Fights, Custody, and Social ServicesThis parenting advice column counsels a woman regarding a fight with her boyfriend over leaving a phone on a couch. We also suggest that social services won't take a child without a very good reason.
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On Maturity, Being a Mother, Taking Care of a Baby, and Getting a Puppy DogThis parenting advice column warns a teenager that babies are more work than she realizes, and if she can't handle a dog, she certainly can't handle an infant.
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On Bedtime, Discipline, and Sleeping in the Parents' BedWe counsel a tired couple that if they want to rest in the future, they need to keep their 7-year-old daughter from sharing ther bed now. Even if it costs them a lot more sleep in the short term.
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On Discipline, Threats from Children, the Dangers of Baby-sitting, and Whether Teens Can Hide Paychecks from ParentsThis parenting advice column warns a baby-sitter to stop caring for a child who threatens to kill her. The mother refuses to act, so the sitter should get out today. We also advise a teen not to get into a fight with his parents over workplace freedom.
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On Child Support, Reluctant Fathers, Abortion, Savings Accounts, and Financial IndependenceThis parenting advice column tells a single mother that she should seek support from her child's medical-student father, even though he does not yet have a job. We also advise a college student to spread her wings and get her own savings account.
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On Male Friends, Dating Restrictions, Child Seats for Small Cars, and How to Make Chores FunThis parenting advice column counsels a teenage girl regarding whether to introduce a platonic male friend to parents who forbid dating. We also address the issue of child restraints that work in small cars and present suggestions for making chores fun.
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On Baby-sitter Tax Withholding, the Internal Revenue Service, Varsity Jerseys, and Mom Versus GirlfriendThis parenting advice column counsels a potential baby-sitter regarding how a family can withhold taxes from her pay. We also suggest that a mother avoid picking a fight with her son's girlfriend over who gets to wear his football jersey.
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On Prejudice, Mixed-race Babies, Pregnancy, and Children's Privacy in Their RoomsThis parenting advice column counsels a teen father whose parents want nothing to do with his infant son. We also advise a teen whose parents don't give him privacy in his bedroom.
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On Adult Children Living at Home, Helping a Parent with the Bills, and How to Clean Up Spilled MilkThis parenting advice column counsels a woman that while it is OK for her to live at home with Mom, she may eventually want to move, and should discuss the issue with the older woman. We also advise a reader on how to get rid of the smell of spoiled milk.
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On Discipline, Punishment, and Taking Care of Other People's ChildrenThis parenting advice column gives kudos to a woman for agreeing to take care of a cousin's toddler. But she must obtain some information and parameters from the parents before she starts the job.
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On Bullying, Fighting Back, Trouble at School, and Whether Children Must Pay Dead Parents' DebtsThis parenting advice column counsels a parent not to be so quick to blame the school for a daughter's encounter with a bully. We also reassure an adult child that most of the time, he won't have to pay his parents' debts.
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On Child-support Cheats, Custody, Lawyers, Party Favors, and when to Give GiftsThis parenting advice column addresses how to deal with a father who goes on welfare to avoid paying child support. Hint: It's time to get an attorney involved. We also counsel a parent on whether to give gifts to other siblings on a child's birthday.
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On Absentee Fathers, Bad-mouthing the Ex, Profanity, and Teaching the LanguageThis parenting advice column warns a mother that her baby's father might change his mind and get involved, so there's no need to plan an explanation yet. We also weigh in on how to deal with an ex who teaches a toddler to swear.
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On Sibling Rivalry, Blended Families, Lonely Kids, and Taking Kids to Poor Foreign CountriesThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled teenager worried because she is jealous of the attention received by her younger siblings. We also tell concerned parents that their children should not be harmed by an encounter with poverty.
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On Child-care Assistance, Charities, Bad Behavior, and DisciplineThis parenting advice column warns a woman that she may have trouble finding help with child-care expenses if she doesn't qualify for state aid. We also advise a father that while his son needs discipline, putting the boy in a diaper is not the answer.
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On Riding a Bike Because You Can't Afford a Car, Family Budgets, Embarrassed Teens, Kids Moving Out, and Vacant BedroomsThis parenting advice column counsels a father concerned because his son is embarrassed to be seen with Dad -- who no longer has a car. We also advise parents not to be too quick in repurposing the rooms of children leaving home.
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On Dating Losers, Teens Learning Lessons, Parental Neglect, and Talking Nice About the ExThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother to seek help in trying to warn her daughter away from a boyfriend with no prospects. We also advise a father not to talk too badly about an ex who refuses to act like a mother.
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On Forced Left-handedness, Smarter Children, Discpline Outside the Home, Loud Kids, and Giving to the PoorThis parenting advice column says that forcing a kid to write with his left hand will not make him smarter. We also address the issues of kids misbehaving in public and spending their money to help the homeless.
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On Vasectomy Fund-raisers, Collecting Money from Friends, Embarrassing Yourself, and Child SupportThis parenting advice column suggests that a couple can hold a fund-raiser to cover the cost of their in-vitro fertilization, but they shouldn't expect a lot of people to donate.
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On Dealing with Bullies, Communication, when to Fight, and Asking Friends for HelpThis parenting advice column offers strategies for dealing with bullies. There is no perfect solution to the problem, but both parents and kids can try to limit the impact of bullying.
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On Sociopaths, Psychologists, Selfishness, and Disobedient ChildrenThis parenting advice column suggests that an 11-year-old girl's selfish, insensitive behavior is fairly common for kids her age. However, the father's diagnosis as a sociopath suggests Mom should be cautious and observant.
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On White Babies from Black Mothers, Mixed-race Coloring, Children Who Get Up at Night, and Toddler BedsThis parenting advice column explains that babies don't always inherit their parents' coloring. We also advise a concerned mother on how to deal with a toddler who wakes up in the middle of the night.
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On Grandkids, Absentee In-laws, Vacations, and Children Who like Classical MusicThis parenting advice column counsels a woman concerned about her in-laws' apparent lack of interest in their son's coming baby. We also reassure a mother that while her son's appreciation of classical music is unusual, it's not abnormal.
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On 40-year-old Mothers, the Wounds of a Friend, and Teens Who like Classical MusicThis parenting advice column counsels a woman offended by a comment a friend made about her potentially having children after age 40. We also reassure a concerned parent that a teenage boy's fondness for classical music is not a bad thing.
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On Suicide, Grief, Knowing What to Say, and Controlling Teen' Internet UseThis parenting advice column tells a woman that she need not be an expert in grief counseling to help bring comfort to the mother of a child who committed suicide. Accept the invitation to visit. We also address the issue of parental controls for teens.
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On Overprotective Parents, Fathers Who Get Involved, and Starving Children in AfricaThis parenting advice column counsels a woman worried that her husband is too protective of their son. Spoiler: Overprotectiveness is a lot better than the opposite. We also weigh in on the "Eat your food because children are starving in Africa" line.
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On Crayons, Creativity, Baby Art, and Why Parents Lie to ChildrenThis parenting advice column helps a mother introduce her son to the joys of coloring. We also weigh in on the issue of lying to children. Spoiler: Not only are we against it, but we see no justifiable reason for doing it.
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On Day-care Schedules, Preschool Teachers, and Why Some Women Don't BreastfeedThis parenting advice column counsels a parent concerned that a preschool teacher got angry about the boy coming late because the parent had some time off. We also weigh in on why not every mother breastfeeds her baby.
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On Suicide Attempts, Discipline, Boys Dating Boys, and Parent-child RelationshipsThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother about her son, who attempted to kill himself after he was locked in his room to keep him from sneaking out to see his boyfriend.
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On Absentee Fathers, Baby Daddy, Break-ups, and when to Leave a Kid in the CarThis parenting advice column counsels a woman on how to survive after being left by the father of her child. We also weigh in on how old a child must be before you can leave him alone in a car.
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On Good Neighbors, Kids Who Are Scared of Dogs, and Teaching Children RespectThis parenting advice column counsels a man whose dog scares a young neighbor. This problem is best addressed by talking to the boy's paretns. We also explain how to teach children to treat people with respect.
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On Adoption, Breaking the News, Lies, and Who the "real Parents" AreThis parenting advice column focuses on a girl who accidentally found out she was adopted and says she can't love her adopted parents because they lied to her by not telling her about the adoption.
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On Teens Who Get Engaged, Out-fo-touch Parents, and Rebuilding RelationshipsThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother on what to do when her 14-year-old comes home with an engagement ring. Since the girl can't get married for four years, the mother has time to sort things out with her daughter.
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On Custody Disputes, Naked Kids, House Rules, and How to Handle Adult Children Living at HomeThis parenting advice column attempts to counsel a father regarding his parental rights. We also provide suggestions on how to keep a 3-year-old from going commando and how much control parents should exert over adult children.
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On Tattoos, Discipline, Paying for Your Mistakes, and when to Stop Financially Supporting ChildrenThis parenting advice column suggests that a for a teen who gets her own tattoo, part of the punishment should involve her paying to remove it. We also weigh in on whether college students deserve an allowance.
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On Healthy Food, Macaroni in Soup, and when Teens Date AdultsThis parenting advice column suggests that a mother shouldn't worry about her kids' favorite meal, as long as they also consume healthier options. We also attempt to advise a parent concerned about a 16-year-old daughter's relationship with a man of 28.
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On Fathers' Rights, Rape, Child-care Costs, House Rules, and Clean RoomsThis parenting advice column counsels a father on how he can increase his influence in the life of his daughter. We also discuss the cost of child care and why parents require children to clean their rooms.
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On Custody Disputes, Moving Away, and Whether Schools Should Give GradesThis parenting advice column counsels a woman who wants to move to another city while her son's father is in prison. We also weigh in on the issue of whether teachers should tell students whether they are doing well.
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On Borrowing from Children, Business Expense, and Sexual AdvancesThis parenting advice column suggests that a father shouldn't take his son's acting income to fund his business. We also advise a woman to cut off contact with a neighbor who made inappropriate advances.
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On Marriage Problems, Infidelity, Privacy, and Adult ProblemsThis parenting advice column discusses the problems that can occur when a child finds out that a parent is cheating on a spouse. That knowledge rarely does anyone any good, and kids are better off not sneaking peeks at a parent's text messages.
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On the Cost of Raising a Child, Spending Choices, and Boutique Clothes for Young ChildrenThis parenting advice column discusses how much it will cost for a couple to raise a child. We also address the question of whether young children should wear boutique branded clothing.
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On What to Do when Timeouts Don't Work and Whether Secondhand Smoke is Child AbuseThis parenting advice column counsels a mother having trouble with a toddler who doesn't react well to timeouts. We also explain to a child that while secondhand smoke is dangerous, exposing kids to the smoke doesn't constitute child abuse.
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On Career Advice for Children, Photography, the Cost of Babies, and Pregnant TeensThis parenting advice column suggests that age 8 is a little to early to start giving a girl a hard time about her career choice. We also address the issue of why teens believe their parents will pay costs when the teens have babies.
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On Unwanted Pets, Extra Work, Dog-craving Husbands, and Marital StrifeThis parenting advice column counsels a woman how to deal with a husband who wants a dog, but says he's getting it for his daughter.
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On Fighting with Grandma, Making Peace, and Boys Playing with DollsThis parenting advice column advises a woman to scale back her feud with her boyfriend's mother -- that's a fight the girlfriend really can't win. We also weigh in on the issue of whether boys should play with Barbie dolls.
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On How Many Children to Have, Who Pays for Them, and the Dangers of PovertyThis parenting advice column counsels a woman to be cautious before committing to have eight children and warns that unless she can afford to raise those children, she will be doing them a disservice.
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On Bad Baby Names, Immaturity, Alcohol and Drugs, and Rebuilding Trust with ParentsThis parenting advice column counsels a woman whose fiance insists only two possible names for their baby. We also advise a teen worried about how to regain her mother's trust.
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On Breastfeeding Pain, Boyfriends with No Future, and Living Off the GovernmentThis parenting advice column counsels a women not be scared by tales of pain from breastfeeding. We also advise a parent concerned about her daughter dating a man with no job, and a woman worried about living on public aid.
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On Splitting Time with Multiple Children, Family Game Night, Outings, and What Do with an Inappropriate GiftThis advice column counsels parents with more than one child to make a point of spending quality time with each child, as well as planning events for the whole family. We also recommend that parents buy substitutes when kids get inappropriate gifts.
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On Teenage Boys with Older Women, Sneaking Out, Discipline, and Visitation IssuesThis parenting advice column addresses a 15-year-old boy sneaking out to meet an older woman in the middle of the night. We also weigh in on the issue of whether a mother can deny her baby's father access to the child.
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On Who Pays for a Visit to Grandma's, Pocket Money, and Whether Parents Should Support Adult-age ChildrenThis advice column tells a concerned mother that if Grandma asked for the child to visit and planned a number of events, she is planning to pay for the trips herself. We also weigh in on the issue of parents financing their children's lifestyles.
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On Children Who Won't Listen, Discpline, and How to Pay for an AdoptionThis parenting advice column suggests that a parent start getting tougher and more creative with a daughter who won't do as she is told. We also weigh in on the topic of whether it's OK to hold a fund-raiser for an adoption.
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On Stay-at-home Moms, Dads Who Work Two Jobs, and Hospital Charity CasesThis column warns a woman not to assume a man working long hours while his wife stays home is dissatisfied with the deal. Selfishness is in the eye of the beholder. We also address whether hospitals will treat pregnant women with no money.
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On Black Role Models, President Obama, and Whether Kids Should Eat Foods They HateThis parenting advice column addresses a father's concerns about serving as a role model for his son. We also weigh in on the issue of children's diet, counseling a parent to give her child some choice -- but not too much.
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On Mortgages, Bad Credit, Whether to Buy a House, and How to Get a Home LoanThis parenting advice column advises a parent with bad credit regarding a potential home purchase. We dive into the issue of home loans, how to get them, and how to overcome credit problems.
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On No More Naps, Bedtime, Abdominal Pain, and Whether to Have KidsThis parenting advice column counsels a mother wondering whether her toddler has outgrown the afternoon nap. We also weigh in on when to take a kid to the doctor and whose choice it is to have children.
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On Custody, Children's Choice, when to See a Lawyer, and Contact LensesThis parenting advice column counsels a mother worried that her 12-year-old son might end up living with his father. We also weigh in on the issue of whether kids should wear contacts.
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On Internet Controls, Physical Activity, and Whether Rich Kids Should Attend Public SchoolThis parenting advice column lauds a couple for insisting that their son not spend all summer on the computer. We also address the issue of whether the extremely wealthy need to send their children to private schools.
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On Giving Up the Bottle, Solid Food, Sunburn, and when to Wear SunscreenThis parenting advice column counsels a parent on when and how to wean a baby from a bottle. We also weigh in on the issue of whether a child should wear sunscreen on a cloudy day. Hint: For those with pale skin, even cloudy days can be dangerous.
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On Lost Jobs, Money Troubles, and Borrowing from ParentsThis column advises a troubled woman that it's OK to seek help from her parents in a time of legitimate financial crisis. However, first she should assess whether it is truly a crisis.
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On Sleeping in Class, Disrespectfulness, Discipline, and Kids Who LieThis parenting advice column explains why it's a bad move for a child to lay his head down on the desk in class -- even if he knows the material. We also advise a troubled parent how to handle a 7-year-old liar.
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On Toddlers Putting Things in Their Mouths, Chewing, and Why Teens Shouldn't Share a BedThis parenting advice column answers the question of why toddlers put items in their mouths. We also address a complaint from a teen angry that her parents won't allow her to spend the night with her boyfriend.
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On Teenage Terrors, Discipline, Disrespect, and Following the RulesThis advice column counsels a troubled parent regarding a teen-age son who ignores house rules and punishments and shows no respect for anyone in the family.
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On Teen Job Hunts, Parental Permission, Trust, and MasturbationThis parenting advice column counsels a girl not to apply for a job after her mother has forbidden it, and instead to discuss the reason for the woman's prohibition on work. We also advise a teen concerned about masturbation.
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On Cars for Teens, Second Chances, Accidents, and Girls in Revealing ClothingThis parenting advice column counsels a father not to rush to buy a car for a teen-age son just months after a near-fatal auto accident. We also weigh in on why parents allow their daughters to wear skimpy outfits.
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On Disobedient Daughters, Stepmothers' Woes, and when Happens when Dad Doesn't Get InvolvedThis parenting advice column advises a stepmother on how to better deal with her husband's daughters. It will take time and effort to build a relationship and earn their respect.
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On Theme Park Rides, Scared Children, Safety, and Adults Who Act like Friends Rather Than GuardiansThis parenting advice column advises a mother not to panic after seeing a photo of her 2-year-old looking scared on a log ride. Talk to him before getting upset. We also advise an aunt that it's not too late to butt out of her niece's problems.
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On Paying Babysitters, Job Problems, Vacation Time, and What Kids WantThis parenting advice column counsels a baby-sitter having trouble with her employer. Both sides of the dispute have likely earned a share of the blame. We also try to explain why kids want to be older.
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On Rude Children, Blended Families, Discipline, and a Baby's Skin ColorThis parenting advice column warns a mother against making her fiance choose between his unborn child with her and his older child by another woman. We also advise a concerned teen regarding the likely skin tone of a baby she has with her boyfriend.
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On Crying it Out, Child Neglect and Abuse, Becoming an Adult, and Parental ResponsibilityThis parenting advice column explains that letting a child cry out his troubles is not always a sign of neglect or abuse. We also weigh in on the topic of whether parents should support 18-year-olds.
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On Cars for Kids, Accidents, Maturity, and Revealing ClothesThis parenting advice column counsels a father to be very careful before buying his son a car. We also weigh in on why parents don't mind their teen-age daughters wearing short shorts.
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On Teens Who Lie, Girls with Boys, Disobedience, and Disagreements on DisciplineThis parenting advice column counsels a father to proceed with intention to punish his daughter for lying. Even if the lie results in behavior that is acceptable (a debatable issue) children should still be required to do what they say they will do.
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On Sick Pets, Euthanasia, Telling the Truth, and when Children Know Right from WrongThis advice column advises a mother not to lie to her young daughters about their dog's illness. Comfort them and ease the transition, but don't mince words about death. It's real, and the kids will learn about it eventually -- better now with Mom's help.
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On Sibling Bullying, Absentee Parents, Nicknames, and Family MattersThis parenting advice column states the obvious -- no, parents should not encourage, or even condone, the bullying of young children by older siblings. We also weigh in on who decides what relatives should call a baby.
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On Preventing Tantrums, Punishing Toddlers, and Taking Kids to FuneralsThis parenting advice column suggests strategies a troubled mother can use to deal with her 2-year-old's outbursts. We also weigh in on how old children should be before you can take them to a funeral.
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On the Case Against Harry Potter, Profanity on the Phone, and Bad JudgmentThis advice column offers reasons why some parents would rather their children not read or watch the Harry Potter saga. We also counsel a woman who mistakenly cussed out a fifth-grader in the middle of the night.
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On Hits to the Crotch, Pain, Rebellious Teens, and Picking FightsThis parenting advice column advises a mother that she owes her son an apology for laughing after he was hit in a sensitive area with the tennis ball. I also weigh in when an angry teen wonders why his parents don't let him make his own decisions.
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On Early Bedtimes, a Good Night's Sleep, Nosy Family Members, and International Custody DisputesThis parenting advice column lets a mother know that if her daughter is getting enough sleep, it's nobody else's business when she sends the girl to bed. We also counsel a man with a custody issue to seek truly expert advice -- talking to a lawyer.
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On Rebellion, Disagreements on Discipline, and Getting StrictThis parenting advice column counsels a woman with a disobedient son and a husband who thinks she is too strict. Something must change here, or the situation will just get ugly.
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On Overprotective Parents, Good Kids, and Teens Going OutThis parenting advice column counsels a concerned parent who has never allowed a 16-year-old daughter to go out with friends. Such conservatism could cause a backlash the parents do not intend.
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On Househusbands, Jobs, Daughters, and Happy MarriagesThis parenting advice column counsels a woman about the dangers of leaving her husband home full time to raise the children. Sometimes it works, but often it does not.
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On Breast Milk Versus Formula, Health Benefits, and the Sex-offender RegistryThis parenting advice column points out the many advantages of breast milk. We also tell readers where they can find a list of sex offenders living in their area.
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On Deadbeat Daughters, Jobs, Borrowing Money, Blood Types, and Pregnancy ProblemsThis parenting advice column suggests that a parent stop enabling a daughter who, instead of getting a job, keeps asking the parents for money. We also address the issue of how blood types can affect a pregnancy.
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On Betrayal, Infidelity, and the Real FatherThis parenting advice column warns a man against letting his best friend know about the possible parentage of his daughter. Sometimes, when telling the whole truth can only hurt people, you should just shut up and take the blow yourself.
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On Five-day-old Meat, Refrigerator Safety, and when a Couple Needs an Au PairThis parenting advice column dives into the problem of how long you should hold onto leftovers. Hint: It's not the same for every food item. We also counsel a college student regarding her work as an au pair for a couple that doesn't need one.
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On Kids Staying Home Alone, Child Safety, and a Nosy Mother-in-lawThis parenting advice column helps determine whether a child is old enough to be left home alone. Hint: It's about more than the kid's age. We also counsel a woman with a mother-in-law who grills the grandkids about their mother's conduct.
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On Fathers Ashamed of Their Sons, Being a "man," and Who Should ChangeThis parenting advice column advises a father not to get hung up on the fact that his son has different interests, and not to push him too hard to become a man. Instead of driving the boy in a certain direction, he should try walking with him.
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On Sick Toddlers, Dehydration, when to See a Doctor, and the Santa Claus LieThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother about whether her toddler is sick enough to warrant a visit to the doctor. We also consider whether a child will lose confidence in his parents when he finds out Santa does not exist.
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On Teen Exhibitionists, Webcams, and Camping with BoyfriendsThis parenting advice column recommends that a mother take firm action after catching her 13-year-old daughter flashing a stranger on her Webcam. We also advise parents not to bring their daughter's boyfriend along on a camping trip.
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On Babysitters, Disobedient Children, and DisciplineThis parenting advice column advises a woman on how to deal with some very bratty kids who expect treats, have no manners, and don't behave. If she doesn't lay down the law, she'll get run over.
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On Parents Who Don't Care, Neglected Children, and Teens Who Won't Use the ToiletThis parenting advice column reassures a teen regarding his feelings of regret over parents who provided no guidance. Those feelings are both normal and reasonable. We also counsel a parent of a boy who urinates in the sink.
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On Secret Children, Dishonesty, Infidelity, and SleepoversThis parenting advice column counsels a woman who recently learned that her husband has a child by another woman, and is obsessed with meeting that daughter. We also address the issue of sleepovers for pastors' children.
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On Raising the Voice, Establishing Authority, and the Death of a ParentThis parenting advice column addresses the use of the voice as a powerful and versatile parenting tool. We also advise a mother that in the wake of her son's father's death, she shouldn't force him to go to camp against his will.
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On Teens Watching Porn, Internet Security, and Extra Attention for Troubled KidsThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother about how to deal with a teen-age daughter watching porn on the Internet. We also explain why coaches -- and parents -- give extra attention to kids who don't behave well.
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On Grounding, Breaking the Rules, Technicalities, and Studying Over the SummerThis parenting advice column counsels parents to be consistent and firm with discipline and insist that children follow through with punishments. We also tackle the issue of whether parents should work with kids on their studies over summer vacation.
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On Discipline for Tantrums, Toddler-style Rebellion, and Whether Adolescents Should Have E-mailThis parenting advice column advises a mother on how to deal with her 18-month-old's tantrums. We also tackle the issue of whether a 9-year-old should have his own e-mail account.
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On Toddlers with Fevers, when to Call the Doctor, and Opting Out of Religious EducationThis parenting advice column counsels a woman whose toddler has a 101-degree fever, suggesting that she need not call the doctor immediately. We also tackle the issue of whether kids at religious schools can avoid religion-related assignments.
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On Conflict Between Girlfriends and Daughters, Commanding Respect, and Swimming in Dirty PoolsThis parenting advice column suggests to a man that he must intervene in the feud between his girlfriend and his daughter if he expects the situation to improve. We also advise a parent who wants to let a toddler swim in a dirty pool.
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On New Graduation Dresses, Living Within a Budget, Wants Versus Needs, and School UniformsThis parenting advice column counsels a teen who wonders why her mother won't buy her a new dress for graduation. We also tackle the issue of whether shool uniforms inhibit or inspire creativity.
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On Discipline Disagreements, when to Spank, and Whether Timeouts WorkThis parenting advice column counsels a woman upset that her husband spanks their children. The key to success is compromise on both sides.
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On Toddlers Who Won't Sleep in Their Own Beds, Tough Love, Tickle Torture, and DisobedienceThis parenting advice column counsels a mother who can't get her daughter to sleep in her own bed, suggesting that she give the girl no alternative. We also tackle the issue of how to deal with older siblings who don't know when to quit tickling.
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On Parenting Disagreements, Spanking, Discipline Styles, and Punitive Child SupportThis parenting advice column counsels a woman attempting to convince her husband to try punishments other than spanking. While other methods can be effective, humans tend to stick with what works. We also warn that with child support comes visitation.
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On Hidden Bikinis, Rebellion, Teens Helping Their Friends Disobey, and Living Within a BudgetThis parenting advice column advises a mother who finds her son with a friend's bikinis to think twice before simply throwing them away. We also
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On Unwanted Neighbor Kids, Making Enemies, and Buying Gifts for TeachersThis parenting advice column counsels a mother on how to deal with a neighbor girl who comes over to play all the time and behaves rudely. We also tackle the issue of gifts for teachers and coaches.
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On Picky Eaters, Disobedience, Discipline, and Hard LessonsThis parenting advice column tells a mother that the surest route to curing a picky eater is by establishing who creates the menu, and then not allowing special orders. We also counsel a mother whose 4-year-old will not follow the rules.
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On Baby Brokers, Lost Daughters, Adoption, and Teens Alone in the Big CityThis parenting advice column counsels a woman who lost a baby in court, warning her that with a baby broker involved, she could be a whole lot worse off. We also address the issue of whether it is safe for 14-year-olds to prowl Downtown Chicago.
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On Boys Who Won't Bathe, Parents Who Won't Insist, Sisters Who Won't Obey, and SpankingsThis parenting advice column counsels a woman concerned that her 4-year-old son isn't washing some of his most important parts. We also tackle the issue of a 19-year-old who can't get her 3-year-old sister to follow instructions.
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On Prada Bags in Sixth Grade, Extravagant Gifts, Adult Children Living at Home, and Punishments for SmokingThis parenting advice column addresses how to handle the theft of a sixth-grader's $2,500 bag by the mother of a girl in her class. We also suggest that parents have the right to enforce their house rules, even with adult children.
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On Teens Getting Respect, Forced Abortions, and How to Tell a Child About Mom's Past ProblemsThis parenting advice column addresses whether adults respect teens. We also tell a young father that he cannot force his girlfriend to have an abortion. Lastly, we tackle the issue of what to do when a child notices cuts on Mommy's arms.
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On Mothers with Children by Different Men, Making Judgments, and Whether 4-year-olds Should Take Voice LessonsThis parenting advice column counsels a mother with children by three different men not to hide the fact, and instead to let her conduct give her new boyfriend no reason to judge. We also address whether toddlers should receive music instruction.
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On Bad Relationships, Bad Mothers, Custody Lawyers, and Arranged MarriagesThis parenting advice column counsels a man stuck in a relationship where he pays the bills, watches the baby, and does little else. We also let a young couple know that there is no law against arranged marriages in the U.S.
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On Exemptions from Vaccination and Young Children Flying AloneThis parenting advice column explains how some parents can avoid vaccinating their children yet still have them attend school. We also attempt to ease the fears of a mother whose 6-year-old son will be taking a solo plane flight.
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On Hospital Stays, New Babies, Family Visits, and when to See a Custody LawyerThis parenting advice column suggests that a mother not listen to busybody friends who insist her husband should sleep at the hospital after the new baby is born. We also counsel a man to seek legal counsel to assert his paternal rights.
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On Rebellion, the Danger of Running into the Street, Restaurant Meals, and Romantic EveningsThis parenting advice column urges a parent to educate and enforce discipline after a child refuses to listen and runs into the street. We also counsel a mother to go ahead and plan the romantic meal and evening, but save some food for the kids.
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On Wanting a Boy, Getting a Girl, Teen Pregnancy, and Keeping the BabyThis parenting advice column counsels a soon-to-be father worried about his disappointment regarding the gender of his baby. We also advise a woman trying to convince her 15-year-old daughter to give up her baby for adoption.
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On Teen Work Woes, How to Quit a Job, and Cereal that Smiles BackThis advice column helps a teen deal with an unusual request from her boss, counseling her to think more about the situation before quitting her job. We also address the ubiquitous Mini-Wheats commercials and whether it's OK to eat talking cereal.
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On Kids' Birthdays, Staying Home from School, and What Happens when a 40-year-old Man Lives with His ParentsThis parenting advice column suggests that a mother should not allow her son to stay home on a school day to celebrate his birthday. We also present the pros and cons about a man in his 40s living at home with his parents.
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On Raising Biracial Children, the Content of Character, and Why Some Women Shouldn't Date Men with KidsThis parenting advice column counsels a woman not to worry too much about her child's racial background. Good parenting has no skin color. We also suggest that a woman who complains about her boyfriend's devotion to his child should stick to single men.
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On Teen Road Trips, Good Drivers, Explaining the 1970s, and Why Everything was OrangeThis parenting advice column advises a concerned parent about whether his daughter should take a long road trip with another teen. We also dip into the 1970s, advising a parent to discuss the period with humor and educate without becoming a teacher.
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On Children Who like Investing, Explaining Marital Separation to Kids, and How Far is Too Far to Drive to SchoolThis parenting advice column counsels a mother not to worry about a 12-year-old who follows the stock market. We also weigh in on how to explain a pending separation to a child less than 4. Lastly, we suggest 9 miles is not too far to drive to school.
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On a Couple's Night Out, Too Much Guilt, and the Need for PacifiersThis parenting advice column encourage a couple to enjoy an occasional night to themselves without guilt. We also address a concerned parent whose daughter is having trouble sleeping now that the pacifier has been taken away.
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On the Ex Versus the Current Girlfriend, Picking Fights, and Who Gets to Meet the ChildrenThis parenting advice column advises a man what to do when the mother of his children refuses to allow him to introduce the kids to his current girlfriend.
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On How Fast Feet Grow, Internet Photos, and Who Has the Right to Post ThemThis parenting advice questions counsels a woman worried about how fast her toddler is outgrowing his shoes. We also address the issue of whether a noncustodial parent has the right to post photos of his child and other peoples' kids on the Internet.
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On the Best Age to Have a Baby and How to Deal with Misbehavior at SchoolThis parenting advice column counsels a 15-year-old to wait for awhile before starting a family. We also advise a mother who has just learned that her daughter behaves far differently at school than she does at home.
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On House Rules, Kids Who Smoke, and when to Pick the Tough FightsThis parenting advice column counsels a troubled mother about how to deal with her 16-year-old daughter, who insists on smoking in the house.
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On Girlfriends Versus Kids, Rebuilding Trust, and How Tough Guys React to a Blow to the CrotchThis parenting advice column warns an estranged father that it will take time and effort to reconnect with his kids, and his girlfriend will suffer for his actions. We also reassure a mother that a soccer ball below the belt can put anyone off his game.
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On Teens Watching "The Hangover," Why a 12-year-old Viewed It, and Work Versus Day CareThis parenting advice column explores the double standard set by parents who allowed a 12-year-old to watch "The Hangover" but did not let an older sibling view it. We also counsel a woman deciding whether to cut her work hours or put the kids in day care
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On Clingy Children, Independence, and Alone TimeThis parenting advice column counsels a mother on how to deal with a child who won't leave her alone.
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On Moving from a Crib to a Bed and Whether to Carry a Backpack or a Book BagThis parenting advice column advises a father that when a toddler can crawl out of a crib, it's time for a bed. We also tackle the issue of whether a school might prefer a backpack or a book bag.
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Just Call a Boy a BoyThis parenting advice column focuses on the issue of why parents would hide the gender of their child from the world -- and hide the realities of gender roles for their children.
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On the Dangers of Lying to ChildrenThis parenting advice column addresses the issue of why many parents lie to their child, and why that is a mistake.
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On Junk Food, Alcohol, and Whether Seven Kids Are Too ManyThis parenting advice column addresses the issue of whether junk-food makers bear responsibility for kids' bad eating habits. We also counsel a parent wondering whether she has shortchanged her children by splitting her attention among seven.
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On the Accuracy of Pregnancy Tests, Exercise for Children, and Weight LossThis parenting advice column explains that while we can't be sure how accurate pregnancy tests are, if you've taken three with the same negative result, you're probably not pregnant. We also reassure a woman regarding her daughter's weight loss.
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On Playing Favorites, Opportunistic Grandmas, and Why You Shouldn't Punish a Boy for MasturbationThis parenting advice column counsels a woman on how to deal with her mother-in-law's insistence that she is the "favorite grandma." We also advise a mother who punished her son for masturbating in the house.
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On Pregnancy, Lost Friendships, and Boys Dancing with Grown WomenThis parenting advice column attempts to counsel a woman who swore off pregnancy in support of a friend struggling to conceive, then got pregnant and alienated that friend. We also comment on a woman's effort to break up a dangerous dance.
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On Nightmares, What Kids See, and Why Boys Shouldn't Bathe with GirlsThis advice column suggests that parents shouldn't be too quick to dismiss their son's fears about seeing a strange man in the house. We also tackle the issue of older sisters bathing with younger brothers.
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On Tantrums, Spoiled Children, Rude Baby-sitters, and Relatives Taking LibertiesThis parenting advice column counsels caregivers to take a firmer hand with a tantrum-throwing 5-year-old. We also suggest that if it's rude for traditional baby-sitters to give kids food without asking the parents, it's also rude for relatives to do so.
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On Asking for Gifts, Rudeness, and Whether to Ground TeensThis parenting advice column addresses the issue of whether it is acceptable for anyone, even relatives, to specify what gifts people should bring to a child's birthday party. Hint: It's not acceptable. We also tackle the topic of grounding teen-agers.
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On the Qualities of a Good Parent, Raising a Perfectionist, and Teaching by ExampleThis parenting advice column suggests what it takes to be a good parent. We also counsel the mother of a perfectionist on how to deal with her son's obessession with avoiding mistakes.
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On Beauty in a Bottle, Hair Color for Girls, Whether to Spank, and the Importance of Consistent DisciplineThis column advises a mother not to allow a young girl to color her hair in an effort to become beautiful. If you can't see the beauty in yourself without hair dye, soon that dye you purchased won't help. We also address the issue of spanking.
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On Raising Someone Else's Child, Live-in Nightmares, Unemployed Mothers, and Selfish GirlfriendsThis parenting advice column counsels a man upset about his unemployed girlfriend's insistence that he get up early to take care of her child so she can sleep late. We advise him to confront her about the selfishness.
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On Talking to Teens About Sex, the Importance of Dad, and Whether Baby Boys Have ErectionsThis parenting advice column warns a father who has never talked to his teen-age daughter about sex to broach the subject in concert with his wife. We also reassure a mother that her infant son's erections are not unusual.
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On Adolescent Girls, Lesbian Web Sites, and Why Kids Shouldn't Eat ToothpasteThis parenting advice column counsels a mother on how to talk to her daughter about the dangers of visiting a sex-charged Web site. We also warn a parent about the dangers of toothpaste consumption.
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On Night Terrors, Toddlers Sleeping on Their Own, and when to Listen to a TherapistThis parenting advice column counsels a mother on how to deal with her son's nocturnal fears after six weeks of sleeping calmly and quietly, alone in his own bed. We also tackle the issue of whether an occupational therapist is jumping to conclusions.
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On Kids Kissing, Innocence Lost, and when Not to Upload Videos to the InternetThis parenting advice column offers some reasons for concern about the kids-kissing video that has gone viral across the Internet.
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On Big Bites, Food Punishments, and What to Do when You Melt a CrayonThis advice column counsels a parent regarding how to handle a little boy who takes big bites and refuses to follow mealtime rules. We also address the problem of a melted crayon in a clothes dryer.
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On Learning the Word "no," Disciplining a Baby, Sports, and AsthmaThis parenting advice column explains to a mother that her daughter is not the one who misunderstands the meaning of the word "no." We also encourage a parent regarding whether asthmatic children can play sports.
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On Homosexuality, All-boys Schools, Skipping a Grade, and Rude KidsThis parenting advice column reassures a parent that enrolling a child in an all-boys school will not make him gay. We also tackle the issues of skipping kindergarten and why so many of today's kids are rude.
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On an Upstaging Mother-in-law, Baby Milestones, Medical Advice, and when to Call a DoctorThis parenting advice column counsels a woman about how to deal with a mother-in-law who takes liberties with a baby's big moments. We also address the danger of soliciting medical advice from nonexperts.
